There are moments in life which define us, moments which can never be erased from our memories, no matter how much we wish that they could be. These are often moments of discovery, about the world, about others whether close relatives or new acquaintences and then there are the moments where we discover who we are, where we surprise ourselves as to what we are capable of.
These moments, epiphanys, discoveries, realisations, whatever you want to call them are often unwanted, uneccessary and unwelcome.
That day, before any of the deaths happened, before blood was shed, I had one of those moments. A photograph was added to my memory.
It was long before any of us new there would be trouble. They had all decided weeks ago they wanted to go camping by the lake, I had been pushed into it by my only true friend Cassy, who in desperation for climbing the social ladder had made her way into the group and dragged me unwillingly along.
I pause at the thought of Cassy as I explain to the policeman about what has happened. Cassy. My one true friend.
Dead, like everyone else, except me.
I don't deserve the breath that flows in and out of my lungs.
I was awkward in the presence of so many people, I preferred the quiet, the stability and the freedom of only having myself to please. We had arrived at eleven that morning and the boys had set up the six tents the twenty of us were to share, I was worried about the sleeping arrangments, as I was such a social outcast slumber parties were rare and I was awkward around boys. All of the girls went of exploring, I was hesitant as I followed.
I don't know what it was, but I felt as though something were going to happen. There was tention between Ashley and Nicole, the two most popular girls and there was this weird atmosphere that felt almost like a dangerous drug.
As I looked up to look straight into the policemans eyes, I saw doubt. They may as well have gotten a big red stamper and printed GUILTY across my forhead.
I just had to tell the truth.