Now my eyes frantically scanned all of the blueprints, looking for more oddities. Lasers in the palms of my hands and the tip of each finger. Rockets in the soles of my feet. The exact speed that I could move, if I put all of my power into it. Guns of various sizes hidden all over my body. The process by which I now healed was laid out in front of me, explained in scientific terms that I somehow understood. My hand drifted to the back of my head, to touch the socket where I could insert a flash drive and learn new information almost instantly. My other hand pressed the inside of my left wrist and a flash drive slowly popped out, so I could download things off of my computer as well. That was when it finally hit. I wasn’t human anymore, not the way I was.
I wasn’t like Simon or Nova.
I wasn’t like my dad or my mother.
I wasn’t like Anne, or Sam, or Molly, or any other person on the entire planet.
I could see her lying on the ground, dead, in my mind. Anne would never walk again, never act, never sing, never dance…she would never be herself again. It was my fault. I could have done something to save her if I hadn’t tried to ignore this new change in my life. If I had just taken a little responsibility, she would be alive. I glanced down at the blueprints again, blinking tears away from my eyes.
If I hadn’t been born, Anne would be alive. Nova wouldn’t have been in the car with me when I had the accident and she’d be at a competition right now doing gymnastics or karate or something. If I hadn’t been born, my dad would be alive. He wouldn’t have died alone or at all. I didn’t deserve to live, so why had I? This stupid machine.
I had to make it up. To Anne, to Nova, to my dad. To the entire world. I had to do something.
And I knew exactly what it was.