After one guy I slapped nearly jumped in front of a car out of surprise, I decided to give it up and just stare out the window like a good superhuman. How dull.
I noticed we were near the edge of town now, which was good, because that meant we were nearing the airport. I had double the desire to get there quickly; not only was I really looking forward to this jet, but the company in the limo sucked. Pyro and Rose were probably the worst conversationalists I'd met in my entire life.
But then we passed the airport.
"We passed the airport," I told Pyro and Rose. But Pyro still just looked like he was going to murder me if I took my eye off him, and Rose still just looked bored, so I moved closer to the front of the limo and knocked on the window that separated us from the driver. Spike was sitting up there with the driver.
The window rolled down and Spike looked backwards at me, over his shoulder. He didn't say anything but I could tell he was waiting for me to address him.
"We passed the airport," I repeated matter-of-factly.
"Who said anything about an airport?" said Spike, but he rolled the window back up before I could answer. What the hell was he talking about?
We were out in the country by now, and I could already feel the boredom setting in. It figured I'd be stuck with two people that might as well be inanimate objects.
Where were they people taking me, and why couldn't it be closer?
* * *
After what was probably a half hour of driving (but felt like half a day), I could feel us start to slow.
I didn't see anything spectacular through the window I was looking out; just a field and the dirt road we were on now, but when I turned to look out the opposite window, I could see a farm. Still nothing very special, but at least it meant we weren't just stopping at the side of the road.
The limo turned onto the driveway of the farm and drove up right past the farmhouse and accompanying barn.
That was when I saw it.
"Oh, you weren't kidding about the jet, were you?" I said excitedly.
I'm pretty sure my eyes were wide as saucers; that thing was pure cool. Sleek and black and deadly, it looked like it had come right from the special air force in a futuristic movie.
"Why would we be kidding?" said Rose in that monotonous voice of hers, breaking my reverie at the sight of the glorious machine. All I could think of was to shoot her a dirty look, so I did.
When the limo came to a halt, I hopped out with as much speed as I could muster; there was no way I was staring in that snoremobile for a minute longer than I had to; not when there was a freaking jet within walking distance.
I ran right over to the thing and turned around, waiting for the others to catch up. I had no idea how to open it, so they were my ticket in.
But for some reason they were headed to the farmhouse.
"Hey, guys! Where are you going? Aren't you taking me to your headquarters? What about the jet?"
Spike turned calmly in my direction. "This is HQ, Jarret. I said we had a jet, not that we were going to use it."
I was a little upset.
"WHAT?! I came all the way here for a stinking farmhouse? What the hell is this? I want to ride in the jet!"
Okay, more than a little upset.
"I want to ride in the jeeeeet!"
Okay, okay, I sounded like a five year old throwing a temper tantrum. If you saw this jet, you'd understand.
"Maybe later," said Spike, in a good imitation of the parent of a five year old throwing a temper tantrum. "For now, we have some introductions to make. Come with us."
I begrudgingly followed the three, telling myself I was only doing it because it meant I could fly in the jet later.
* * *
The Onion Headquarters wasn't in the house, per se. We went in the side door and right down the stairs. Then we went through another door, and took some more stairs down even further. Then we opened a secret panel and took a fancy looking elevator.
For a bunch of super-zeroes, they sure had a nice pad.
When the elevator finally came to a halt, Spike turned to me with a smile I wasn't sure I liked. It was sort of mischievous and far too happy.
"Time to meet the others."