Suicide was never the answerMature

I committed suicide at the age of fourteen .  Everyone I decided to let into my life thought they knew everything , but they never knew how I really truly felt , and he didn't know either .  I never have much to say when I talk about him .  He left me speechless .  I loved him , words couldn't explain how much .  I lost everything to him and for him .  I lost my virginity to him at the age of thirteen  , and I lost my life  for him at fourteen . Anyone I knew could say I was afraid of the world , and i will tell you the truth . I am , or at least was .  People say its not possible to love at my age  , but I disagree , everyone needs somebody to love .  I loved him . I would do anything for him , and in this case . Killing myself was the risk I took to keep him with me . 

I opened my crystal blue eyes and I could feel his warm arms around me . A smile drew itself across my face .  I could feel his lips pressing softly onto my neck . 

"  Did I wake you up ? " I asked turning my head towards him . 

" No , I was awake for awhile , " He said letting me free from his arms . 

" What time is it ? My mom's going to be here around ten thirty  , " I said grabbing his arm looking at the time on his watch tied around his wrist . 

" Shit ! I have to go , she's probably been out there for like twenty minutes," I said gasping after seeing the time on Dalice's watch .  

"Alright , Call me ? " Dalice said smiling at me  .

"Yeah , no problem  , " I said crawling back across the bed giving him a kiss . 

" I love you " I said biting my bottom lip . 

" I love you too Ginelle , " He said watching me walk out of the room .  I ran out to my mom's black Honda civic . 

" I'm so sorry ! I fell asleep , " I said . 

" Its fine , I just got here , I myself was running a tad bit late"  My mother Jane said .  

" Let me guess ,  Michael was over ? " I said laughing . 

" Yeah , " She said laughing while starting up the car and pulling out of the driveway . For the whole ride home everything was silent .  We finally reached our house and I ran stright up the stairs . My twin sister Kary came walking toward's me holding our other three month old sister Anna .

" Where were you ! It was your turn to babysit , " She said yelling .

" I was at Dalice's house , Calm down " I said taking Anna out of Kary's arms .

" Your always with that damn guy ! I'm not fucking doing this for you anymore Ginelle , " She whispered but you could tell she wanted to scream .

" Yeah whatever ,  Where's Jason ? He could have babysat , " I said .

" Jason ! HA , our brother Jason babysitting ? That would be funny . " Kary said laughing sarcasticly .  I rolled my eye's at Kary and I walked into my bedroom still holding Anna . I gently sat Anna on the floor my bedroom .  I quickly picked up the phone and dailed Dalice's number . 

" Hello ? " I heard a voice say . 

" Hey ,  it's me , " I said speaking loudly into the speaker of the phone . 

" Yeah , so whats up ?" Dalice said .

" Nothing at all , Kary's being a bitch , Jason's partying , and my mom's to bust fucking her boyfriend to remember one damn thing ! " I said whispering into the phone . 

" Sounds like fun ? " He said laughing . 

" Loads ,  " I said . I could hear Dalice's father David yelling in the background . "What's going on there ? " I asked . 

" Nothing , I got to go , " Dalice said then hung up . My heart began to race for some reason . I wanted to know what was wrong but I didn't have the energy to even call back .  few minutes later I put Anna to bed . Then I laid in the dark room itching to go to sleep . My eye's finally shut and I was completely calm and relaxed . 

The End

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