I committed suicide at the age of fourteen . Everyone I decided to let into my life thought they knew everything , but they never knew how I really truly felt , and he didn't know either . I never have much to say when I talk about him . He left me speechless . I loved him , words couldn't explain how much . I lost everything to him and for him . I lost my virginity to him at the age of thirteen , and I lost my life for him at fourteen . Anyone I knew could say I was afraid of the world , and i will tell you the truth . I am , or at least was . People say its not possible to love at my age , but I disagree , everyone needs somebody to love . I loved him . I would do anything for him , and in this case . Killing myself was the risk I took to keep him with me .
I opened my crystal blue eyes and I could feel his warm arms around me . A smile drew itself across my face . I could feel his lips pressing softly onto my neck .
" Did I wake you up ? " I asked turning my head towards him .
" No , I was awake for awhile , " He said letting me free from his arms .
" What time is it ? My mom's going to be here around ten thirty , " I said grabbing his arm looking at the time on his watch tied around his wrist .
" Shit ! I have to go , she's probably been out there for like twenty minutes," I said gasping after seeing the time on Dalice's watch .
"Alright , Call me ? " Dalice said smiling at me .
"Yeah , no problem , " I said crawling back across the bed giving him a kiss .
" I love you " I said biting my bottom lip .
" I love you too Ginelle , " He said watching me walk out of the room . I ran out to my mom's black Honda civic .
" I'm so sorry ! I fell asleep , " I said .
" Its fine , I just got here , I myself was running a tad bit late" My mother Jane said .
" Let me guess , Michael was over ? " I said laughing .
" Yeah , " She said laughing while starting up the car and pulling out of the driveway . For the whole ride home everything was silent . We finally reached our house and I ran stright up the stairs . My twin sister Kary came walking toward's me holding our other three month old sister Anna .
" Where were you ! It was your turn to babysit , " She said yelling .
" I was at Dalice's house , Calm down " I said taking Anna out of Kary's arms .
" Your always with that damn guy ! I'm not fucking doing this for you anymore Ginelle , " She whispered but you could tell she wanted to scream .
" Yeah whatever , Where's Jason ? He could have babysat , " I said .
" Jason ! HA , our brother Jason babysitting ? That would be funny . " Kary said laughing sarcasticly . I rolled my eye's at Kary and I walked into my bedroom still holding Anna . I gently sat Anna on the floor my bedroom . I quickly picked up the phone and dailed Dalice's number .
" Hello ? " I heard a voice say .
" Hey , it's me , " I said speaking loudly into the speaker of the phone .
" Yeah , so whats up ?" Dalice said .
" Nothing at all , Kary's being a bitch , Jason's partying , and my mom's to bust fucking her boyfriend to remember one damn thing ! " I said whispering into the phone .
" Sounds like fun ? " He said laughing .
" Loads , " I said . I could hear Dalice's father David yelling in the background . "What's going on there ? " I asked .
" Nothing , I got to go , " Dalice said then hung up . My heart began to race for some reason . I wanted to know what was wrong but I didn't have the energy to even call back . few minutes later I put Anna to bed . Then I laid in the dark room itching to go to sleep . My eye's finally shut and I was completely calm and relaxed .