Suicide Season

Bring Me the Horizon's song echoes in my head. Truth be told, I can relate. The day my father walked out was the day the world stop spinning. I felt the thudding stop. Walking into a silent room, seeing my sister's tear streaked face. My mother's balling fist and my father no where to be found. I was only thirteen.

Whispers go through my head each and everyday. Command, fast and loud. The crazy thing is I listen but, never get fooled by their secrets. Well at least most of the time. Does that make me insane? Maybe I am, or maybe its the few pills I took. That can make someone hear things, right? Well, I feel out of it. Out of this house, this world, even this universe. Maybe I'm dead. Floating around in my own broken shell. Trapped in my never-ending nightmare.

Screaming thats how I woke up. Just a dream, it's not real.
"Hold it together Leanne, it was a nightmare" I whispered to myself " It can't be real."

Tuesday morning, school, drama, and cleaning. Like everyday usually goes. I guesss it can't get much worse. But, it can. Oh well.

Mirrors are useless. Forcing you to see the reflection of a god created monster. For me its my own little tracker. Like a dog, sniffing out flaws. Each and every day I look into my wonderful mirror, just to find another problem. Hair to dry, nose to big, eyes uneven. I guess this is what I get for being O.C.D . Even though I know the truth. Nothing is perfect.
But I also find my like in my half wit mirror. Bright greens eyes always stare back at me. My long white-blond hair, curled like satin ribbons. Pale skin clear of blemishes. With rosy cheeks that make me look like a porcelain doll. Cold. Glass

I've always been thin. To thin, almost as if I haven't eaten for a bit of years. But what can I say? It doesn't matter to me. Like everything else. Well almost everything.

The End

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