1. Eat paper.
2. Talk gibberish.
3. Pretend to have a limp.
4. Lick random strangers.
5. Try not to think about sheep.
6. Talk to a wall.
7. Have a pillow fight with a butterfly.
8. Taste biro ink.
9. Paint an anvil on a shop window.
10. Burn ants with a magnify glass.
11. Blink incessantly.
12. Have a water gargling contest.
13. Try to make yourself sneeze.
14. Say a word repeatedly until it becomes meaningless.
15. Read a bedtime story to a household appliance.
16. Try to play the air guitar with a guitar.
17. Chase a computer mouse and make hissing noises.
18. Draw your thoughts.
19. Have an action adventure inside your head.
20. Learn to speak Chinese.
21. Eat a geography book.
22. Learn the lyrics to 50 songs in under half an hour.
23. Try to swallow your tounge.
24. Make up a poem about cottage cheese.
25. Throw pineapples at passing cars.
26. Acquire a twitch in your right eye.
27. Sell socks on the roadside.
28. Say yes to anything asked of you.
29. Challenge your neighbour to a cracker-eating contest.
30. Try to break your finger.
31. Try to tear out your hair.
32. Write ten thousand pages on the history of bananas.
33. Learn to play the saxophone with your ears.
34. Boil an Ipod.
35. Get a job as a dare devil extraordinaire.
36. Apply for a ticket to toffee world.
37. Ring up someone a hundred times and ask to see Quentin.
38. Ring up a pizzeria and ask what their prices are for everything on the list a hundred times.
39. Argue with yourself.
40. Talk about picnics with a pear.
41. Use a rubber until it’s gone.
42. Count how many atoms there are on a strand of hair.
43. Read up on the history of history.
44. Throw a half eaten orange at a poster of Nicholas Cage.
45. Ask a lamppost which colour is it’s favourite.
46. Hang a spoon off your nose for more than two minutes.
47. Pretend you need the toilet every five minutes.
48. Kidnap a school bully.
49. File a folder in your boss’s trousers.
50. Count to one backwards.
51. Kiss a toad.
52. Blush at a cherry.
53. Breathe heavily and annoy every one around you.
54. Write a poem to a lampshade.
55. Answer why whenever someone talks to you.
56. Tell a long and boring story about how you became bald.
57. Take a megaphone into a library and use it.
58. By an obviously fake wig and wear it everywhere.
59. Bake fairy cakes with your cat.
60. Think about penguins.
61. Hang out with old people.
62. Perform random acts of kindness.
63. Take along walk off a short pier.
64. Learn how to play the ukulele.
65. Build a tee pee in your garden.
66. Find a stone.
67. Buy a city.
68. Apply for a job as a TV show prop.
69. Be spontaneous.
70. Ring a random number and kick up a conversation.
71. Make up a new language.
72. Watch Thunderbirds.
73. Watch Captain Scarlet.
74. Watch Joe Ninety.
75. Become a puppet.
76. Impersonate the Queen.
77. Run down the street shouting aliens are attacking.
78. Talk about I Am Legend until you’ve scared yourself silly.
79. Do an impersonation of your favourite celebrity.
80. X-ray a slab of concrete.
81. Stick blue tac on a shower head.
82. Pretend to be a cow with a temper.
83. Give your local lollipop lady a lecture on toothpaste.
84. Cut you own hair to the style of a mammoth.
85. Sheer a sweet wrapper.
86. Use the person sitting next to you to wipe your nose on.
87. Write your will.
88. Play with matches.
89. Buff your cat.
90. Have a formal dinner with a bread bin.
91. Make paper out of grape skins.
92. See how small you can scrunch you face.
93. Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy.
94. Defend yourself from an invisible enemy.
95. Make a quilt out of napkins.
96. Take your blender on holiday to Venice.
97. Take a nail for a walk.
98. Read tealeaves.
99. Drop pebbles down the chimney.
100. Squawk at random strangers.
101. Stand very close to someone until they get really mad.
102. Lean over someone who’s short.
103. Have a blank face while doing everything.
104. Celebrate your birthday everyday.
105. Ring Simon Cowell up and blackmail him into changing the contents of his wardrobe.
106. Take a shrub to the gym.
107. Become a troll for a day
108. Tell someone they look like Shrek and then run.
109. Dye your hair green.110. Contemplate the meaning of nothing