Bazookas and Kazoos

"Rex, like, the dog?" I ask, gulping, and wondering how we're possibly going to escape this.

"Ha. I wish. A dog would be loads easier to kill," Ryan says, much to my very, very great disappointment.

"A dog wouldn't kill those Jacks in two seconds, and then sniff us out and try to take a bite out of us. Unless, you know, it had rabies..."

"That's a nice way to think of it, Felicia. A giant, mutated dog named Rex with rabies... Unfortunately, it doesn't erase what we've just seen.

"Do you know how thick their skulls are? And their teeth are so sharp and---"

"Okay, Ryan, stop!" I try to yell as quietly as I can without alerting Rex.

"Do we have any Bazookas?" Ryan asks.

"A bazooka isn't going to help us, Ryan," I say, exasperated.

"Really? A very large gun that blasts like a rocket isn't going to help us kill a Tyrannosaurus Rex?"

"I thought a bazooka was that little thing that you blow into and it makes funny noises, like at a party." I say, trying to gather my thoughts...

"No, Felicia, that would be a kazoo. Kazoos won't help us, bazookas will," Ryan explained, surprisingly patient despite the current and unfortunate situation.

"Okay... So, kazoos can be found at a drug store... and bazookas can be found at military bases. So, where's the nearest military base?" I ask, trying to remember all of the science fiction shows I've ever watched.

"Um... Texas? I don't know... You know I failed Geography," Ryan says.

"Okay, so, we're screwed?" I ask.

"Um... Almost."

"Good... That's good. Kind of. We haven't lost all hope. So, any plans?" Another question that probably won't get a positive response.

"I was under the impression that you, being the strategic one, would come up with a plan."

I resist the urge to hit him.

"Wait... What was that?" I ask.

"I don't know." He looks around, and when he looks over my shoulder, he freezes.

"Do I want to know?" I ask, terrified to turn around.

"Not really. Just don't make any sudden movements," he says helpfully.

I can't resist the curiosity, though. And slowly, I turn around.

The End

100 comments about this story Feed