Story Of A Lost Essence

I drown here, alone in black rose petals

Soft as silk, but dead as ash

Cold, as the winter’s snow

My core becomes so weak

Without my soul, my spirit is like sand slipping through my fingers

I’m left to bleed and cry out

I’m locked away from society and sanity

I bang and scream at the door, but no one lets me back inside

I’m abandoned sinking deep into insanity, no one’s here and I fall at the door step

Now that I’ve discovered what I am left without, please don’t leave me

Kept prisoner in the dark, but could never feel your warmth beside me

You’re slowly slipping through my fingers; I try to reach out for you to take my hand

But as I attempt to keep trying I fall undone like stitches has loosened

Save me from sleeping coldly in forever

Lead me the way to home

The sand piling close to my full burial, I don’t have much time

Rescue me from the nothingness I’ll become

My hand sinks in along with me…with no one here to grasp it

I have no voice, no soul, no dignity left

 Freezing from inside out, I am stranded with cryonic shivers

Don’t leave me here; the dark will come seeping into me

When you finally see me, let me know when I’ll feel real again

Untangle me from the spider’s web; I’m not ready to die

I struggle trying to rise and stretch my hands out to you

I keep being drawn back in the dark

I’m left balancing dangerously on this narrow ledge of the building

The breeze colder and stronger than the winter winds

I am paralytic with this intensity of facing mortality

My heart’s rush of adrenaline paces in my head

Don’t let me descend to a dreadful death, I never got to open my eyes to everything

Summon my soul and remind it to bring every bit of me back home

Unaccompanied is how I am tortured with the loud silence filling me with emptiness

The ache of my blood slowly decreasing speed pins me like needles

Through the window I see you

You try to let me in but I fall

I desperately clutch your hand

Don’t let go, don’t let me go, don’t let me die

The heat in my lost spirit increases through your warmth

And the warmth is slipping our hands further away from grip

My fingertips last touch your palm before I start to see you fade away from my view

I collapse into a blacked out space

Is my soul dead or alive?

My body is shivering from the shakes and free fall

My spine chills into ice

My temperature rises with the fear of never returning

With face in palms I begin to weep once more

My tears were my only companions here in this dead realm

My hugs are my only comfort and source of warmth in this artic emptiness

When the healing finally begin?

The white snow is my only reminder that I still have feeling of the torture

I lay here broken and unaided

I can swim through the sea of tears I can cry myself

Seas have to be made of tears; how else can they be made with same salt and warmth

I am halfway to land and light I feel my hope slowly increasing

As I begin to thrust another paddle through my arms I suddenly go under

Screaming through the water, my lungs fill up drastically fast

My remaining oxygen harshly burns my heart and throat

Forces drag on my feet drowning me, laughing at me

They can see all the agony in my eyes that expose my terror

I scuffle my way up but I am constantly being overpowered by the darkness

The water deepens into a deathly black

Through all the words I have left in me, I never thought my last spoken ones would be:

“Please save me!”

I’ve wasted them without thinking in the moment

I am out and my brain bleeds from the horror

I am dragged into the black room, like I was running in circles

I am drawn by hands gripping my ankles into a white spotlight

Then I see you there

Have you finally found me?

Oh, please I beckon you save me from myself

My throat tightens instantly like snakes asphyxiating me

I fall to my knees before you, begging you

Save me from myself who fading rapidly into the dark

Only you I see who is walking alive among the deceased

I gag helplessly for the oxygen I so dearly miss

I fall into a curl on my side and begin trembling like I was being eaten by cockroaches

Breathe into my mouth and make me finally real

I have nothing left but my senses to help the torture

What I miss most is my reason to live

I want, no, I need to know why I live

I feel the maggots in my heart in process of your devour

My tears fall down again like rain

I am weakened by the passing hours, the pain evolving inside me

These failures to escape this horrid madness

Shakes me beyond just knees

The pounding in my head is so violently continuous through the night

Internal bleeding will seep out from every orifice I survive through

I began to cry crimson tears forking down my cheeks

The river of thick blood rushes out of my nose rapidly

My ears are busted from the screams and scratches

I’m caged in with the only worse person: myself

It scratches just under my tingled skin

I rattle through this cage, where is the lock and key?

Why can’t anyone here me scream?

Surrounded with the thoughts I am nothing more than imperfection used to amuse you

The teeth is razor sharp and easily tears through the flesh

Why must I be confined in the dark?

It’s taking over my agonizing body, it’s stealing my heart, it snatched my soul

It’s breaking me down in half

And the black is narrowing my sights

The dark is closing in, feels like I am late to be saved from the dark

I guess this is how the story ends…the story of a lost essence

The End

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