Thing

Stella!

What?

Come in here.  Quick!

I'm busy, love.  Give me a minute.

Get in here. Now!

All right, all right.  Keep your hair on. Now, what's all the fuss about, Stan?  Oh!

Yes.  Oh.

What is it?

That's what I was about to ask you. 

Where did it come from? 

Well, I just opened the fridge to get milk for my bran flakes and it sort of... plopped out on to the floor. Don't touch it, you stupid woman!  It might be dangerous.

Stop yelling at me, Stan.  I just wanted to get a closer look at it.  It looks dead, anyway.  It doesn't seem to be breathing.

How do you know it even breathes?  It might not have lungs.  Where the hell did it come from?

Oh. I wonder if...

If what?

Hang on---

DON'T!  Don't open that door!

Calm down, love.  I was just---  I'll have a look at the others.  No, they all seem to be all right.

What?  What's in that bowl?

Look.  They're just eggs.

Eggs? What the--- They don't look like any eggs I've ever seen.  Where'd you get them?

The farm shop.  You know, the one that's just opened, down the road next to the old church.  The owner was ever so nice.  Lovely old guy.  He seemed a little eccentic, but very polite and obliging.  Said they were goose eggs; that's why they're bigger than usual.  What?

That... thing on the floor is not a bloody baby goose!

Well no, it doesn't have any feathers... yet.  They don't, I think, when they first hatch out---

No, Stella.  It doesn't have any feathers.  It also has three... four... SIX legs. Are four of them going to disappear when its feathers grow in?  Is that... horn in the middle of its head going to fall off?

Is that not its beak, then?

No, it's not a bloody beak, Stella!  Beaks aren't green!

Stop shouting, Stan.  You'll disturb the poor little thing.  Ooh, look!  It moved!  Stan, let go of my arm. Where are we going?

Stella, I'm going to call the police.  Don't you dare open that door.  Let the experts deal with it.

Oh, Stan, the poor little thing's all on its own in there.  Can't I just put a hot water bottle near it, to keep it warm?

Stella, for God's sake, woman, it's not normal.  Neither of us have any idea what it might do to us.

Stan, I don't know why you make such a fuss...

The End

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