Can't Forget

I sat in silence the entire ride home, not wanting to get there because I knew there was going to be a lot of shouting. I tried my hardest not to think of what had happened, but I couldn’t help it. My mind was whirling with the images of the scene, Tsuki looking petrified with blood dripping from her arm, making a deep puddle of dark red on the grass below, Jace, Alexander and Ruth trying to calm me down as I attempted to attack them, and Annabell, trying so hard to stop me, not letting go even when I bit deeply into her steel like flesh. It killed me to think that I had done this. Tsuki,  my best friend, someone I would never dream of hurting, was probably more upset than I was, it must have been like losing her best friend all over again, and then to see me like that, so inhuman and cold, it must have killed her more. I realised then that I had made a terrible mistake by going back to see her; I had endangered her life and left her fearing the world, the Vampire world she now knew about. How could I have done this to her? I felt tears roll down my cheek, I didn’t even know that Vampires could cry, but I hadn’t felt the need to cry since I had been turned. This was the worst day of my undead life.

  I looked up as the car finally drove up the driveway of our house; I had never seen it before so I was shocked to see that it looked like a typical house. The brick walls were dark brown and the windows had double glazing in them, the only difference from a normal house was, it had double glass doors and was probably twice the size of an ordinary house.

 I dragged myself out of the car and shut the door gently, I didn’t have a clue what sort of car it was, I wasn’t very good at naming different types, all I knew was, it was black, black sleek and pretty. I kept my head down so no one could see the tears in my eyes, and walked into the house. I really didn’t want this to happen, I knew that it was going to be horrible, they were going to tell me how stupid and careless I was…they might even ground me, I thought to myself as I leant against the door taking deep slow breaths. Alexander, Annabell, Jace and Ruth had already entered the house and had straight to the living room.

“Aimee, come in here.” Alexander called, I was so afraid of what they were going to say, would they throw me out of their house? Would they turn their backs on me and say I was a disgrace? I would deserve that, but I didn’t want it. What could I do? There were not enough words that I could say to tell them how sorry I was and how much I hated myself for what I had done.

 I walked solemnly into the living room to find my family standing around one of the couches. Everyone had their eyes on me and it was driving me mad, I hated to be stared at. I kept my head down trying to avoid their judgemental stares.

 “Have a seat.” Alexander said calmly, he didn’t look mad, but his voice was stern and not something I wanted to refuse. I did as I was told, still keeping my eyes on the floor, tears poured from my eyes but I really didn’t want them to see me crying, they would think I was childish.

 “Ok, say it.” I said, keeping my head down, I already knew how this was going to go, I just wanted to get it over with.

“Say what?” Jace said, what were they doing? Were they teasing me? Would they just suddenly burst out with it? I looked up, they all looked confused, but was this a trick of some sort? I didn’t know, but I guessed that I would have to tell them anyway.

 I took a deep breath, salty tears ran into my mouth making me grimace “How stupid I was for leaving when I’m not ready, how careless of me it was to go back home and to my friend who’s life I have probably made a lot worse now.” I said through sobs.

  “Oh, it was careless of you to leave, but the rest is not your fault. If we had helped you through this more, then you wouldn’t have felt the need to go back, we should have talked to you about it, we are sorry.” Alexander said, I couldn’t believe what they were doing, there was no way they were letting me get away with this, I was the one who hurt everyone else, and they were not taking the blame.

“Don’t tell me it was your fault, because it wasn’t, I ran from here knowing that I wouldn’t be able to stay outside or around humans for very long, I am the one who went to see my best friend, I am the one who scared the living daylights out of her and probably made her fear everything, I’m also the one who bit Annabell so many times when I tried to break free to attack you!” I said angrily raising my voice “There is no way I am letting you take the blame for this, I want you to yell at me, to punish me for what I did wrong. I want Annabell to be so mad at me for hurting her.”

“It didn’t hurt that much” Annabell said crouching down and putting her arms around me “I think you have punished yourself enough for all of us. Your friend will be ok, Alexander has the power to make people forget, when he talked to her he told her to forget everything she had seen tonight, she will not remember any of this, she will think that you were a friend of Aimee’s that she had never met, and that you were talking about your life.” I couldn’t believe what was happening, this really was the worst night of my undead life. They weren’t going to punish me? Why? I had done so much that could hurt this family and expose Vampires, why weren’t they punishing me? Well, I thought to myself, if they won’t punish me, I will.

 “I am not letting myself forget this; I will punish myself for what I have done even if you won’t. I hurt everyone tonight, I can’t say sorry enough times to make it all disappear. I really am sorry.” I cried, I pulled Annabell off of me and ran upstairs to my room, slamming and locking the door behind me like some spoiled little brat. I then placed my black cabinet, three wooden chairs, my small desk and even my bed against the door. I lay down on the bed pulling the covers over my head and closing my eyes.

 I was going to punish myself, I didn’t care if it hurt me and I didn’t care if it killed me, I wasn’t going to leave my bedroom for anything, I was going to lay on this bed not moving, but thinking of what I had done to everyone I loved, and I would definitely not be drinking any blood. I was going to starve myself, I didn’t know if it would kill me or not, but if it did, would it be so bad? I was already dead to my real family and the rest of the world, so what did it mater if I really did die? I really didn’t care, I lay still on my back and began my torture.

The End

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