I saw a snowman today, glittering in the moonlight - light & wonder reflecting like a million diamond facets. The air smelt crisp & fresh and there was a tangible air of excitement surrounding it. The sweet aroma of childhood innocence. Too sweet, sickly. Like the last lick of the lollypop that you shouldn’t have had, the corrupt sweetness you taste before your gag reflex kicks in & you vomit all over your mothers new carpet.
In some respects, the snowman reminded me of myself - in many ways. A metaphorical image of what I had become, cold, thoughtless, unmoving, easily disguised by its gentle exterior and of course, far too easy to obliterate. I wanted to possess it - in ways that I could never truly possess myself. I was so far away in some distant place, my entire life was beginning to feel like an out of body experience. I was never really there, just a one man audience to a mans fall from grace.
I saw myself, watching the shadows creeping out of my soul & encapsulating my body until there was nothing more than darkness. I could hear the church bell ring as I dug my own grave, feel the pulse of the maggots as they ate me inside out. I was intoxicated by morbidity & evil. Addicted to it, like the hook of a needle in the skin as the heroin of the hunt surged through my veins. If I didn’t stop - I’d get withdrawal symptoms.
So I stole the snowman.
A smile played on my quivering lips, I thought of the children crying in the morning, their spark of youth soused with the wetness of tears. Thats life. They should know by now that life is no fairy tale. Life is a cold harsh winter, the snow is not the glitter of angels but a fierce army to attack all that is & will be. Until your nothing more than a...
Nothing more that a cold, thoughtless, unmoving snowman that crumbles when touched.