Control

We waited in the living room for Edward to get back from the hospital.
Jasper stayed close by, though I had my emotions under control.
After a little while, we heard a car turn into the drive. Edward was home, no doubt.
Emmett sat by me with Jasper, Alice on his other side.
Esme was sitting in the love seat, eying the door.
I took a deep breath in and looked at Jasper, begging him to stay close.
Edward came in the door, shaking his head and smiling slightly.
Smiling?! How could he have found any humor in this?
Jasper felt my flash of anger and calmed me down.
I breathed in deeply and looked at him, thankfully.
I got up slowly, measuring my control. I looked at Edward and replayed the crash scene in my head; I was letting him know of the unspeakable hatred I had experienced. When I had finished, I gritted my teeth, wanting to feel anger but not being able to; Jasper was still in the room.
I looked into Edward's eyes, concentrating very much on what I was about to think.
Edward, I thought, frostily, WHAT did you DO? Why would you do that? To our family? The world doesn't revolve around you!
Edward chuckled; apparently, something I said had amused him.
I breathed in deeply and waited.
"What was I supposed to do?" Edward finally said. "I couldn't just let her die!"
And why not? You could have with any other human! I couldn't speak; even though my system was calm, I wanted to yell.
"Rose," Edward said. "You know why I had to leave before, I might have been able to resist any other human's blood, but I wouldn't be able to resist hers. Her scent..." He trailed off, seeming at a loss for words.
Oh PLEASE! I screeched in my mind. ALL OF US CAN SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ISABELLA SWAN! I felt much distaste in thinking her name. YOU THINK THAT WE WANT TO HAVE OUR FAMILY EXPOSED JUST TO SAVE YOUR LITTLE ROMANCE?!
Edward froze, thoughtful. Then, he broke into loud laughter.
I realized then that the tone in my thoughts was covered in jealousy.
I glared at him. "Well it's true, Edward! You're obsessed with the girl!"
He froze again. "I'm not," he said angrily, but his anger was distorted by another, less distinct tone: sheepishness and guilt were mixed into his angry, two word sentence.
I froze then. So I was right? He wants her? Her? She isn't even beautiful! I'm beautiful. And yet, he wants her!
Edward laughed harder then. "You're jealous of her? Ha ha ha!" His laugh rebounded off the walls. "You are jealous... of her.... over me!" He chuckled.
I realized that he'd heard the thoughts I didn't mean for him to hear.
Jasper chuckled.
I looked over at him and glared.
His face was still the serene mask he had on before, but with a hint of light and understanding in his eyes. He looked to Edward and smiled, ever so slightly.
Edward burst into laughter again, hearing Jasper's thoughts, and Jasper joined in.
Alice and Esme, who I'd almost forgotten were there with us, stared at each other.
Emmett looked at me, confused. His eyes soft, almost...heart broken.
I looked at Emmett and walked to him, all other emotions had disappeared from my body than just concern for him. I took his hand in mine and pulled him gently.
He got up and followed me.
I was surprised, because it was almost reluctant.
Thank you so much Edward, I thought sarcastically. This really helps everything!
He looked at me, understanding in his eyes and his face fell a little, guilt covering his features.

I walked with Emmett, slowly --for once, I didn't mind the slow pace.
Emmett, however, looked like he wanted to run. From me?
I picked up my pace, building into a run, in order to make him feel more comfortable.
I felt like a monster, which was precisely what I was. An immortal, beautiful monster.

I was trying to think of what to say as we ran, not knowing how to start. I wanted to delay the talking for as long as possible, but Emmett had other plans.
When we were very, very far away from the house, he stopped.
I stopped with him and breathed in deeply. Where was I going to begin? I looked down and sat on the ground.
Emmett stayed standing, looking away from me, his arms crossed tightly over his chest.
"Emmett, I--" I began, but he cut me off.
"What is it, Rosalie?" He said, angry. But, I could hear heart break under his words.
I breathed in deeply again. "I didn't... he wasn't..." I spluttered. I couldn't explain; I couldn't even get a full sentence out. I closed my eyes and started again. "Emmett, I'm a very vain person." The truth in my words stopped my breathing. "I am jealous, but not for the reasons you think!" I opened my eyes.
He looked down at me then. "Then what reasons?" He said, softer, but still angry.
"I am jealous of Isabella, but not because I want Edward! How could I? I love you!" I paused and when he didn't interrupt, I went on. "I was jealous because he wants her and not me... I'm so much more beautiful than her and he wants her!"
He looked at me, confused and still angry.
"Like I said, I'm vain."
Emmett sat down next to me then. "But, if you love me, why are you jealous? It doesn't make any sense."
"I never said it made sense," I mumbled.
We were quiet for a little while and then Emmett thought of something. "Have you been lying to me? All these years? Do you love me?"
"Of course I do!" I yelled. It was my turn to be angry. "How could you say that?!"
He just shrugged.
That one movement made me loose control. "What is that?" I screeched, jumping to my feet. "What? You didn't believe me? You don't think I love you? I do, Emmett!"
My reaction made Emmett's temper flare. "How can I believe you?!" He yelled. "You are jealous of a girl that Edward might have feelings for, and yet you have me! But your still jealous?"
I lost all my anger; I felt nothing. There was no emotion in me as Emmett pulled away from yelling in my face. We'd never been in a fight like this, no, we'd never been in a fight at all! And I caused one because of my own, irrational insecurities! I was a foolish, vain, monster! I did not deserve someone like Emmett!
After I thought that over, with Emmett still standing there, fuming in front of me, I felt sadness. No, not sadness, genuine, deep, overwhelming despair. I turned away from Emmett, not wanting him to see the pitiful expression on my face.
I sat down and buried my face in my hands. I felt the tearless sobs break out into my chest. The sobs were making my chest hurt and my eyes were prickling, trying to generate the tears that would never come.
Emmett knelt down next to me and pulled my face up, one finger on my chin. He moved my hair out of my face and looked at me cautiously, and guiltily. "Rosalie, I'm sorry," he said. "Please... don't cry... please," he begged quietly.
I breathed in, trying to control my emotions. "No, Emmett," I said. "I'm sorry, I was being foolish! I-- I--" I felt the sobs build in my chest again.
Emmett sat down and pulled me into his lap. He waited until I got it out of my system and when I had some control over my emotions, he pulled my face up to his and kissed me. It was very softly at first, but then it built into a more fierce, passionate kiss.
We did not go home that night. We got lost with each other in the woods. We loved each other and neither of us could deny that.

We ran home, both content. Emmett had forgiven me for my ridiculous behavior and I couldn't think of anything that would take away the happiness that filled me because of it... until we reached home.
When we got to the house, I heard a low growl. I sprinted up the steps to the front porch to see what the problem was, and before I opened the door, Edward yelled.
"We. Are. Not. Leaving!" He shouted at someone and I froze. Edward rarely shouted, and his anger was ringing in every word.
Emmett ran past me, and I followed. I assessed the situation carefully-- Edward was in a hunting crouch, prepared to attack Jasper, who was also in a crouch in front of Alice, who was the only one who was calm.
I was confused at first...leaving? Why would we? We hadn't been in Forks that long.
"Edward," Alice said stepping forward, away from Jasper's protection. "We don't need to leave, we can stay."
Edward glared at Jasper but straightened out of his position when Alice spoke.
Jasper calmed down as well, and turned to Alice. "Alice," he said. "How could we stay? Edward very nearly exposed us."
Understanding came to me then, this was about Isabella.
I knew that envy was not only irrational but it was wrong, however I could not help myself. I felt the jealousy as I saw Edward prepared to fight Jasper, to stay in Forks...to stay near Isabella. Although I was happy that Emmett had forgiven me, and though I wanted him not to be angry again. And though I knew that it was irrational, I saw opportunity, and I seized it.
"Edward," I said, speaking for the first time. "We need to leave Forks."
He turned his glower on me and I tried to stay calm. "What will you do if anyone finds out? Do you have any idea how selfish you are being? This is not just about you, this is about our entire family."
Jasper seemed pleased that I was taking his side; a smug smirk stretched across his face.
Edward turned his head to Emmett and glared. "No," he said, angry; Emmett had taken mine and Jasper's side."We are not leaving."
"Edward--" Emmett started, but Alice interrupted him.
"We don't have to leave. We could stay...and if Bella has any idea of what we are, only then will we leave." She was peacemaking. I could tell; her voice was calm, and controlled. She chose her words carefully.
"Alice," Jasper said, trying to persuade her to agree with him. "Leaving is the only option."
"NO IT'S NOT!" Edward shouted, crouching again, as Carlisle and Esme came through the door.
I turned to look at them while they stared at Edward. Esme's face was shocked, and worried. While Carlisle's was disappointed and surprised. "Edward?" Carlisle said. "Son, what is going on here?"
Edward straightened his body, but his lips twitched in anger and he glowered at Jasper, Emmett, and me.

I looked at Jasper, hoping that he would be able to calm Edward down enough to be reasonable. But, he was angry too, and unable to control his own emotions; he couldn't control Edward's emotions if he wasn't calm enough.
Edward didn't answer Carlisle's question, he just continued to glare at us.
"Edward?" Carlisle asked. When Edward didn't respond, he turned to Alice, who was still the calmest of us. "Alice? What's going on here?"
Alice looked to Carlisle, and then to Edward, then back to Carlisle. "Well, Jasper was saying that --since what Edward did could have exposed us -- we need to leave Forks." She paused, as if deciding how to word something, and then spoke again, faster than before. "Well, Edward heard what Jasper was saying, and well...got angry. Edward doesn't want to leave. Then, Emmett and Rose came in and...I think --since Edward seems mad at them too -- that they agree with Jasper."
"And you, Alice?" Carlisle asked, calm.
"I think that we should stay in Forks. If Bella begins to realize what we are...then we can leave." She said.
Carlisle nodded. "I see," was all he said.
Edward looked up at Carlisle then. "But, what do you think?" he asked him.
Carlisle thought for a moment and then walked over to Edward. "We can stay, so long as she doesn't know about us."
That caught me off guard. I thought that Carlisle would be willing to leave. It was his opinion that mattered the most, and I was counting on it. "What?" I asked, appalled.
"We can stay," Carlisle repeated, seeming confused by my tone.
I saw that I wouldn't win the argument, even if I decided to continue it for the rest of the day, so I heaved a heavy sigh and ran upstairs, to Emmett's and my room. I sat, cross-legged on the brown futon that is placed against the wall. I let my mind wander, trying to ignore the voices floating up to me from downstairs.

I was hunting. I smelled the bear before I heard it. But then I did hear it. I was already chasing it, ready for the kill that would take away the burning in my throat. When a wind blew to me, from the east, from where the bear was, and I smelled a new scent that made my throat blaze worse than before--it was the scent of a human.
The bear roared again, and I heard someone scream. It was a deep cry, so I knew it was a man's. I stopped when I heard it. I knew the possibility of making a mistake while hunting if a human came in the path.
I heard the yell again, and then the bear's roar. I made my decision then--I would save this man from a bear attack. He might find out who I was, but I was going to save him. Carlisle would be proud. I started to run again, trying to ignore the aching in my throat--the desire to hunt this human.
I ran as fast as I could, I heard the scream one more time before I broke through the ferns that brought me to where the man was laying on the ground, the bear towering over him. I attacked the bear, then I looked at the man.
I gasped a blazing breath when I saw him. It wasn't Henry, of course, it had been so long that he would be dead, or a very old man by now. This was a young man. I saw his face, crumpled in pain. And, although it was distorted, there were dimples. He looked up at me, with wide, fearful eyes; he'd obviously seen me attack and kill the bear with no weapons. I looked at him, and the longer I did, the more Henry's face looked like his.
I saw that he was bleeding heavily. With out a second thought, I picked him up into my arms and ran with him. I knew I couldn't save him myself, so I was bringing him to Carlisle. He could save his life...
As I ran with him in my arms, I thought of Vera's son, Henry. I thought of how I'd never gotten that, and how I never would. The thought only made my control better, I picked up my speed. Every time I felt my control slipping, I looked at his face and it was restored. I needed to save this man.
I arrived home. Edward and Carlisle were outside. I ran up the steps and told Carlisle what happened. "I was hunting when I found him. There was a bear..." I trailed off and ran into the house. I set him on the dining room table and Carlisle came in after me. "Carlisle, please, I need you to save him." I looked at his face again and felt sympathy and guilt come over me. I would put him through the necessary three days of torture. But it would end, and he would be safe, and immortal. The thought took away the guilt, but the sympathy did not leave.
"Alright," Carlisle said, interrupting my thoughts. Edward, get me my morphine."
Carlisle was obviously hoping to put him through the least amount of pain possible. Edward ran out, and then came back in seconds later with a syringe of morphine. He handed it to Carlisle.
Carlisle injected the morphine. He waited for a few long moments...and I could hear the man's heart begin to slow, missing beats...
Carlisle bit him on his neck, his wrists, the creases at his elbow. And the man yelled. For the first time, I heard him speak. "What are you doing?!" He yelled, his voice still covered in pain. After a few moments, his posture turned rigid. I heard his teeth clench, and grind--holding back a scream.

The End

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