This is a snippet of a novel I am writing, centering on Jase Galleger, a Starfleet Officer. The novel will go from his childhood, to academy days, into his first adventure, to his first years of Command. Whether it will be 1 novel or more is yet to be determined.
Jase ground his teeth in frustration as he leaned at the small bar in his ready room, then took another swig of the synthohol. Commander Kityanna stood a few feet behind him in silence, her arms holding her waist tight, her head slightly bowed as tears slowly welled up in her eyes. Her long dark hair framed her face like a dark hood.
“Jase… I don’t understand this at all… What’s gotten into you…?” Her voice cracked slightly, the hurt clear though she tried to keep her voice steady.
Jase closed his eyes. She was right; this wasn’t like him. He never lost his temper over such trivial little things, especially with someone he loved. Why was he so goddamn angry and afraid so suddenly? They both knew they wanted to marry; why was he suddenly feeling so terrified & angry aout her looking at the dresses? They weren’t even actually picking anything, they had just happened to pass a shop on the promenade & were window shopping. he had to get a grip & he tried as hard as he could, but he found his mouth & body moving against his will. his voice was harsh & angry, and slowly getting louder. He tried and tried with all his willpower to not speak, but he could not stop himself.
“I told you before that we needed to go slow, Kitty… I TOLD you! I warned you not to push me too fast! I warned you it could be too much for me! Don’t you give a damn about what I want? Don’t you care how I feel?! Isn’t how I feel important in any of this?! You don’t hear me, you don’t talk to me, you just do whatever the hell you want and expect me to be dragged around behind you!” His arm moved of its own accord, and time slowed for Jase as the arm holding the glass raised back and moved in an arch forward, the glass slipping from his grasp and seemed to float across the length of the room to shatter into dozens of shards on the wall… then fell fast and hard to the floor.
Kitty jumped in shock, looking at Jase in sheer terror before bolting the other way, running out the door. Jase was suddenly hit with harsh fear, regret and anger at himself. “Oh, gawds, Kitty, I’m so sorry…” he stammered, but she was already gone. He rushed out the door and looked around the bridge; T’Pahl nodded to the turbolift.
“She’s gone, Sir… She’s beaming to her ship now. Should I hail her?” The look she gave Jase was of her typical Vulcan puzzlement, as well as her concern for her friend. This was not Jase she was seeing, and she knew it.
Jase looked around desperately; his officers were looking at him in shock. They had never seen him loose his composure; not once. Yet here he was, obviously on the verge of breaking down and bawling right there on the bridge. He gritted his teeth, stifling a reply, and frowning in as serious an expression he could muster, even as he tried hard to stifle a sob. He simply shook his hear no, and went back into his ready room.
“Door; lock.” he said as the door closed behind him. The computer chimed it’s acknowledgement, and the soft click was heard inside the bulkhead. He went and collapsed on his couch, grabbing a pillow in his arms and crying so hard he was practically yelling into the pillow, his teeth clenching on its fabric so tight that he cut chunks of the pillow off. He lay there for several hours, lost in the well of pain and despair, knowing that he’d just blown out the one bright light he had in this galaxy, and she would never come back to this monster that he had somehow become, the sounds of the door-chime lost amongst his deep, pain-filled sobs…
~~Four Weeks Later~~
T’Pahl pressed the door chime on Jase’s Ready room. “Come.” came his usual reply. She sighed, then entered, her hands slightly fidgeting with the padd in them. She came straight to his desk.
“Sir. I… I think you’ll want to see this.” her usual composure was fraying slightly. Jase looked up from his reports, concern clear on his face.
“What is it, Commander?” She didn’t answer, instead handing him the padd. He stood, taking it and began reading. His face went white. He swallowed hard. “This is…”
“Yes…” T’Pahl’s head hung slightly, the loss sad even to her. “Her ship was ambushed… There were several crew unaccounted for, including Kitty… but…”
Jase slumped into his chair hard, the momentum slowly spinning the chair to stare at the blank wall, his back slightly to T’Pahl. His voice echoed the deadness he felt inside. “Get out.”
T’Pahl came closer, reaching out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Jase… I understand how you feel… Her loss is great…”
She felt the muscles of his shoulder tense under her palm. His voice was harsher this time. “Get. Out.”
She stepped back slightly, taking her hand away. “Jase… I know this is hard, and I know the loss is severe, but… This isn’t like you. What’s happening to…”
He cut her off, standing as he spoke. “I said… GET THE HELL OUT!!!” His visage was contorted in wild rage as he slammed the padd down on the desk, then punched it hard to emphasize his command. The devices screen cracked and splintered under his fist, and a small crack appeared on the surface of the desk. T’Pahl gazed at him in complete and utter shock for only a moment before quickly exiting the room.
Something was most definitely not right with Captain Jase Galleger… and she owed it to her friend to do something. She knew what she had to do; protocol was clear. She left the bridge, making her way straight for Sickbay.
~Six Months Later~
T’Pahl looked at the padd that the Holographic Doctor had handed her. Her eyes went wide. “Are you sure?” She asked him, her Vulcan composure breaking for a moment.
“Quite sure.” He said. “Frankly, we’re lucky to have caught this as soon as we did; it’s amazing he hasn’t snapped under the strain more often. This explains so many things in the last seven months.” The hologram snickered slightly. “Imagine; all this trouble over an allergy to his ADHD medication. Astounding. And we’d have never caught it if he hadn’t gotten into that fist fight with his brother in the forward lounge last week. It only became visible on our scans when he was experiencing elevated emotional turmoil as he was immediately after the fight when we treated his injuries.”
She was still in shock. “It does explain so much. You’ve ceased the treatments, I assume? As well as informed both Starfleet Medical and his brother?”
The hologram nodded. “We have. His brother has already dropped the charges; there’ll be no reprimands on his record. It will still take some time for his body to re-adjust; the drugs have bonded to certain amino acids in his system, so it can take several weeks to a few months before he’s back to normal. He’ll still suffer some emotional imbalance for some time, but he will make a full recovery. I’ve also taken the liberty to make a very clear notation in his medical file.”
T’Pahl nodded. “Good work, doctor. Thank you for coming to me with this. You’ve informed Jase?”
The Doctor politely took back the padd, his expression sombre. “Yes… He didn’t take it as well as I had expected. He kept saying , ‘oh, god, kitty’… I’m hoping you might know what that means more than I do.”
T’Pahl sighed in understanding. “Yes… it means he still blames himself for the death of his mate.”
The doctor looked puzzled for a moment. “His mate…? Sir, you don’t by chance mean Commander Kityanna of the U.S.S…”
T’Pahl cut him short, lost in her thoughts. “Yes, I mean her. He feels that he chased her away and her death was because of that.”
“But…” The doctor stepped over to another table, sorting through a stack of padds, finally pulling one out & checking the info on it before handing it to T’Pahl. “Sir… Kityanna isn’t dead, Sir. She’s alive. She was found in a Klingon internment camp six weeks ago and is currently undergoing rehabilitation on…” T’Pahl looked shocked at the doctor then turned sharply to the padd he’d handed her, taking in all the info. It was excellent news, until she got to the line about the patients relationship status. It read “in a relationship”. it seemed she had become publically involved with one of the interns at the rehabilitation clinic.
She wasn’t sure what to do, and she rarely didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what would be more devastating to Jase; thinking Kitty was still dead, or knowing she was alive but that she didn’t want him back and had moved on to someone else…