Speaking in my own mind

Imagine people not being able to understand you, though you know perfectly well what you mean..

She looked at the face, it was familiar,  but for the life of her, she couldn't remember the name.  The face had character, the lines telling the experiences of a lifetime.  The face was wizened, weathered, boasting many days in the sun.  The little laugh lines were deep so, there had been many happy times.

But, it was also blank, the stare, the lackluster eyes, the slight tremble of the lips held other secrets.  What did they want to say?  She thought about that.  The lips parted, they were forming a word, m..m..m m m..e e  For a moment she just stared, then the thought came to her, the face, the eyes, the trembling lips, were all.. her.

She held a set of keys in her hands, but didn't know where she was going.  She had a purse on her shoulder, but she wasn't sure it was hers.  

A connection of a few minutes brought tears to her eyes, for a few moments of time, she recognized herself.  In that short moment she tried to form another word, what she thought as "pretty" came out as "printed".  And then it passed.

"Are you ready to go?"  She jumped at the strange voice.  A man stood behind her, who was he?  She asked that question, but it came out,  "In the house?"  His face softened and she relaxed.  She didn't know who he was , but he seemed to be a nice man.  He reached for her hand and she allowed him to lead her.  As she turned to go, she saw the woman in the mirror turn and walk away.

She stopped, pulling him back "The lady must go now."  He smiled again gently pulling her along,  " yes, she has to go now."

As they drove along, she glanced at the side of the man's head every now and then, who was he?   He saw the puzzled look and averted his eyes for a minute.  He turned to her, speaking softly... "it's me Len, Frank."  She din't know him, Frank... noooo, she was sure she didn't know a Frank, but she remained quiet.  The car was nice and the ride was comfortable.

It made no sense, people kept coming to her saying they knew her, giving names, Frank, Darryl, Vanessa, Charles... it made no sense, she didn't know them.  She did enjoy being around the two little ones though, what was their names????

In the parking lot, she wasn't sure what to do, the man, Frank sat staring at the building in front of them.  

They'd been married 45 years.  watching the illness slowly take her was like watching a murder, the murder of his best friend.  When it had started, there were little things, almost imperceptible, almost.  She would forget how to get to places, she didn't remember favorite recipes, or where she'd parked the car.  He had the nagging feeling that it was wrong but, he didn't want to admit it.  Their daughter pulled him to the side one day and told him, he had to do something.  Finally, after she had screamed in fear when she saw him, he knew, he knew for sure.  He remembered praying real hard, praying for God to let her stay.  As she slipped further and further away, he vowed he would be the one to take care of her, he vowed he would never ever put her in one of those homes.   

Here they were, tears rolled down his cheeks.  He didn't want to leave her here.  If she just recognized him, if she just knew his name, he turned to her... "Len, say my name, please, tell me who I am, put your hand in mine and call me by my name, PLEASE!"  She stared straight ahead.

Riding home alone, he allowed himself to cry, he pulled over along the rode and let tears fall, and they fell like raindrops, he imagined they were the drops that flooded the land of Noah.  He hadn't wanted to leave her there, he'd had no choice.  The horrifying experience of looking for her for 2 days.. made his mind up.    He saw her to her room, helped her dress for bed and kissed his friend, lover, wife good night.

The man seemed sad, he'd leaned over and kissed her on her forehead. Something wet fell on her face..  She reached up and wiped the tear away.  Who was he?

The End

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