Throughout the night, I made sure to be by Jayden’s side. Silence was the only form of solace I was able to provide him. I was unable to say anything to him as the words that would come out would stumble upon the other and only turn out to be meaningless. Instead, I interlaced my hand with his and squeezed it gently from time to time; trying to make sure he understood that I was trying hard to comfort him.
My eyes swept to the clock on my bed side which read 2:30 a.m. He’d be with me in his physical form for twenty more hours. I expect these twenty hours to not be any easier then the past two ones I spent with him. What would I say to him? I can’t just be quiet the whole time. It would be difficult for me to spend the day in a complete hush when inside I feel like helping him as much as I possibly could.
Struggling to find the right words, I opened my mouth and the first letters of his name escaped my lips, I felt his head fall onto my shoulder. When I turned my face, I realized that he had fallen asleep. The rise and fall of his chest became slower and frequently, his grip on my hand would tighten before relaxing once more.
I looked at him, my eyes absorbing the features of his face, the curve of his nose that leads down to his lips. His cheeks held a constant blush that made me want to stroke his face. My other hand – that wasn’t holding his – reached out. I ran it through his silky black hair and leaned in closer to him. My face was only inches away from his and suddenly, I froze.What in the world am I doing?
I immediately withdrew my hand from his face. The other one that held his slowly unhooked it away so that Jayden was left clenching empty air. Lightly shifting my shoulder against which he was leaning on, I moved away from him and lay him back against the bed. Pulling up the blanket over his body, I slowly crept out the room and shut the door with a softclick.
I walked over to the couch and lay down on it, turning over on one side and circling the spiral patterns on it with my finger. I never could have imagined Jayden having suffered that much in his life. His parents definitely didn’t treat him in a good way. It makes me think about the other aspects of his life. Could they have been worse?
With a sigh, I closed my eyes and fell asleep. Some questions were better not to be thought about. They’d only end up confusing the person more.
As I slid out the couch and fell to the ground with a soft thud, I jumped up instantly and my eyes directly went to my room. Sneaking up to the door, I opened it softly and found Jayden’s figure hidden under the blankets. Assuming he was still sleeping, I closed the door behind me and tip-toed to my bathroom. After brushing my teeth and washing my face with the cold water, I sneaked back out the room and headed to the kitchen.
I was never much of a cook but I always made food that satisfied me. I'd never thought that it would come to a time where I would have to consider another person's tastes whenever I made a sandwich or salad.
I prepared pancakes and chocolate syrup, a meal I remember Jayden enjoying. It was a quick preparation, something I could manage and assembling the food onto a plate, I balanced it on one hand while holding a glass of orange juice in the other. Leaning onto the door of my bedroom so it could open and it creaked while it did, a sound that annoyed me.
I saw Jayden shift on the bed and he got up abruptly, looking around at his surroundings the way a kidnappee would.
"What am I-?"
"Here's your breakfast," I said quietly, laying the plates on his lap and setting the glass of juice on the bedside table. He gave me a strange look then started eating. I watched him silently and when he mumbled a 'thanks', I gave him a small smile and lay back against the bed. My muscles felt sore from sleeping on a stiff position on the couch and lying back against the soft linen of my bed, I felt a little better.
The clatter of the plates sounded in the room and Jayden looked down on me. Both of us didn't know how to start the conversation and it was rather awkward but finally, I decided to break the ice and said, "So, about before..."