What Zozarus saw when he looked into the Future a few days ago...

"My Essay on a Santa Clause

By- Martha Wise

Though primarily rather good for you, Alcohol in large doses or strange mixtures can be is a Santa Clause Martini. Truly, (forgive me I have a grudge against the martini) Santa Clause Martinis are the worst form of alcohol ever!!! It is fatal, my friends. You’ll be dead…gone! GET IT?

Let’s take say...A Tibetan Monk ( my past life) who was forced to drink this poisonous concoction by a few fellow monks, who threatened to take off his pants in front of a doe if he didn't. This monk was highly conservative had never had alcohol in his life, and the tastiest thing he had eaten was a Lemon Grass blade, so...he was an idiot. He drank it all in one gulp, and hence my life as a Tibetan monk ended…because of the dreadful drink! And that life was actually quite cool!

Thus, this alcohol is lethal and horrible. Something must be done to baned this Santa Clause for all eternity!


"Brittney...This was an essay, written by a child in Greenfield academy...Do you know what this means?"

"Yes, yes, don't get your cute little briefs in a twist, Josh1, I'm sure Josh2, Josh3 and Josh4 will take care of the matter."

"Brittney...This is the fourth freak we’ve come across this week! The Josh’s are unavailable, there working out for 2 weeks to get their muscles in fab shape…then there going chest waxing and eyebrow shaping. We have to annihilate these social retards before they take over our world! Imagin one of those weedy boys as the quarterback of a football team, or those freaky goth chicks on top of the cheerleaders pyramid! IT MUST BE STOPPED NOW!"

"Ugh! Fine! You’re so cute when you’re right Josh! Deploy the three Tiffany’s! Find out where all these socially retarded freaks are coming from and where they are hiding, then… bring them to me...alive.

"Umm...that may be a problem..."


"Tiffany3 is in the mental institution until further notice...they say she thinks that the calories are real people who talk to her, And whisper “bad things” to her…um… thighs."

"That Tiffany was a fat hog anyways! She ate an entire carrot stick for lunch!!  Just send Tiffany 1 and 2, and Cherry1 and 2  too, and while you’re at it, get my masseuse please, all this ordering around's making my shoulders stiff, also, call my mani-pedi girl, It’s been six hours since my nails were last done, I need a new color coat again.

"As you wish Brittany..."

"And Josh!"


"If you find my little brother, tell him I'm very sorry breaking his laptop into tiny pieces and throwing it over Bay Harbor Wear House....and for stepping on his glasses...OK?"

"Will do Queen..."



“Why you still here?! GO!"

End of vision

That there...was Zozarus’s future sight, also the reason he was on top of Bay Harbor Wear find his other lap top before it was broken into bits...he was unsuccessfull. As for who the people were...HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW!!!???

"Who are all the other people?" I asked Zo (Zozarus is too long to write, so I shortened it to Zo.)

"My sister…she’s Brittany. She's annoying. She wants to brainwash all social rejects."

"I" I needed more info than that!

"She started the Bubble Gum Parade, to find and bring all social rejects to her."

"Ok...that’s creepy. I mean, isn't that a bit extreme?" I stopped for a second. There was no reaction on his face.

"No...It’s not."

"I see." Well, I think it is.

"Any who, so to save people like us, and because my sister is an idiot, I decided to make a safe haven for us socially disabled people...called the Social Retards Inc."

"Ah...not strange at all..." It really isn't strange...I mean, for me. It seems reasonable actually.

"So…we’re going there. Otherwise they'll catch you and eat you...literally. Some of the girls are starved by my sister to lose weight, so they eat your finger nails when you come in her bed room...or they'll eat  your computer...or your specs..." He frowned. "Bad times, bad times..."

"I see..." Now I was frightened... mainly because I just realized Christmas was coming close and that freaky Santa clause character would be everywhere! As for girls eating my nails...ah well...can't complain too much...been there done that.
Let me explain...
3 lives ago, I was an Aztec Princess who was locked in a pit with my family after the coup by my brother. I kept my kid alive by making her eat my fingernails…She lived and I died…She landed up biting a bit of my finger off and severing an integral artery…I bled to death. Yes, indeed! I have had interesting past lives!

"I liked your Santa Clause the way. Very original." He added, cutting  off my thoughts of my life as an Aztec Princess…  

"Thanks." I answered, still thinking about the gold and clothes and servants...

" we are!" He said...he was pointing to a large shed. A shed ...umm...There base was a shed…a rundown leaky shed…


The End

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