"You shouldn't do that."
Don't you hate interruptions? I do. They suck. It's like; you’re in your mind, all thinking and imagining, and thinking and then...WHAM! Someone takes it all away! Especially when planning a suicide, that can be tricky.
The person who interrupted me was boy, hiding behind a pair of large specs while clacking about on a computer, which hung around his neck like a geeky necklace. What he was doing on top of Bay Harbor Were House…God only knows.
I raised one eye brow and turned to face him, "And why not?" I asked.
"Because if you do, not only will you die, but you'll cause a huge mess...you'll go all…"SPLAT" and people will have a tough time scrapping the pieces off the footpath.
I sighed, "That’s true...then, I guess a hanging will be fine...no too painful..."
"You can try pills...it’s said they work really well..."He suggested plucking his specs higher up his nose.
"Na, my body would be all toxic and pollute the earth then." I got off the parapet and sat cross-legged. Who knew killing yourself was so complex?
"I could Google some options for you." The boy offered.
"Yeah sure” I decided to take up his offer, “Google in 'Environmentally friendly methods of killing yourself.' Sure enough, he immediately began clicking away on his nerdy necklace.
"Hummm...odd..." He bit his lip.
"According to this site, I should be dissuading you from committing suicide." He scrunched up his nose. He then looked at me threw his large round specs and asked, "Are you ...depressed."
"Nope. Bored. I’m getting a new life." I answered.
"According to this web site...you’re most possibly depressed, and if I help you kill yourself, I'm committing a crime…I could go to jail!"
"WHAT?!" I couldn't believe it. Now people couldn't even die in peace! "DAMN SOCIAL NORMS!" I yelled.
"Oh well..." he answered...and then sat and stared for what seemed like a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long (you get my point) time!
"What? Do I have a giant zit on my face?" I asked sinking back a bit
"No...but you’re a weirdo.” He answered, scrutinizing me further.
"Thanks for pointing it out, Mr. Obvious! “I answered, rolling my eyeballs.
"No...I’m Mr. Zozarus Jones...not Mr. Obvious." He continued to scrutinize me, edging closer.
"What I mean was...wait...your name is Zozarus?" I'm sorry for the rudeness, but who in their right mind would name their kid “Zozarus”!?!
"Yup." He answered as he sat back and smiled.
"Funny name." I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, at the sight of his wide, awesomely large grin.
"I’m weird too." He whispered.
"Yeah I got that..." I nodded.
"We're on the same side...both social outcastes..." He looked down, all traces of a smile wiped off his face, and continued working on the lap top.
"So?" I asked sensing he had something more to say.
"Wanna be un-bordified?" He looked at me so seriously threw his frames…it gave me shivers.
"Do I want to be un-what-a who?!?!" Thought it was something dirty…like a Santa clause stalker.
"Want to have something to do?" He repeated, looking obviously frustrated.
"Yeah" I answered. Abruptly, he shut his geeky laptop, and grabbed my hand.
"Follow me..."He smiled, "I know for a fact you'll have lots of fun where I’m gonna take you."
"How?" I asked suspiciously as I was half dragged down the building.
"Cause I saw it...in your future."
“You saw my future?” I asked
“Yup…” He answered frankly.
“AWSOME!” Now that’s my kind of person…also explains all the scrutinizing.
(Note from me - If you’re wondering how I can believe him so easily, it’s because in my last life I was a Tibetan Monk who could do the same...more about him and Santa Clause in the next chapter...)