Julio and Mia leave as soon as they got here to get Fernie so now it’s just Abby, Allie and I sitting in my room. I wish I could’ve kept talking to Allie about us, or maybe even pick up my conversation with Mia from before although she seems fed up with talking about it. I just wish Mia understood that love does hurt but it’s worth it. I want to be one of those people with red tally marks all over my arm and I don’t see why Mia wouldn’t. It makes no sense.
I turn to Abby and see her texting Jadon already, and I look at her wrist and feel a pang of guilt. Alex gave her that mark, left her branded just like I left him. I felt horrible about it but there’s nothing I could do and I didn’t dwell on it too much because then the guilt turns to pain and then that leads down another road that I can’t go down again.
I reach up and hold the cross around my neck and think about how strange the marks are. There is no line on my wrist for God, which never bothered me until Allie pointed out how no one has a mark specially placed for him, though I did consider getting one tattooed once. But a tattoo doesn’t hold the same meaning, again something that never bothered me until Allie pointed it out. I do like when people add to their marks though. I once saw a mark that was turned into an infinity symbol and I thought the meaning behind that was beautiful. I’m lost in thought when Julio and Mia come back and report that Fernie couldn’t leave which makes me sad because he’s pretty cute.
“Jadon’s on his way,” Abby says, “are we gonna do a bonfire or-?”
“Sure! Let’s go get it started,” I suggest and Julio just sighs from the couch where he had just sat himself down, “You guys go, I’m just gonna stay here,” and he plugs in his headphones before any of us can respond so we all just share glances and head outside.