You know what I miss? Other than my family and my supposed 'friends'?
I loved it so much when I was alive, not going a day without it. It was my life, my inspiration. It opened the gateway for emotions I never knew I even had. That was the only thing on this planet that made me feel really...alive. Real.
That's all gone out the window hasn't it?
You're lucky, but you don't see it. You're living your life, day by day and you're not even thankful. You haven't ventured out of your room in days, you're just sitting there with your head in your hands. I can't even feel sorry for you because I'm so jealous. You don't realize what you have, dammit!
Stop moping and help me get the hell out of this place!!
TWO HOURS LATER
You look at me. Finally. You open your red rimmed tear stained eyelids and you look right at me. You have such hate in your eyes, it makes me take a step back. Well, as much as I can. I feel that if my heart were still beating, it would be pounding away against my rib cage. You literally have the look of a killer in your eyes.
'I hate you,' you whisper. 'Just leave me the fuck alone.'
I would if I could Melinda.
'Don't call me that,' you spit. 'It's not my name.'
'You're not very hospitable are you?' I roll my eyes to hide my fear. I know you can't physically do anything to hurt me, but I can't have you hating me. Not now. Not ever. I need you to listen. Or else I am ALL alone. Please don't turn your back on me. I won't be a bother.
'I don't give a shit you vile wretch. All you ghosts! You're always lingering inside my mind! Just let me have a NORMAL LIFE!!!' You scream this last part at me, and then something happens. It's a weird sort of feeling, like an intense powerful force is pulling me back. Along with this comes the darkness. It creeps in at the edge of my vision, threatening to suffocate me. I protest rather profusely.
NO. I scream just as loud at nothing in particular. NO. NO. NO. NO.
We seem to be fighting one another mentally. You're pushing me away; I'm clinging on by my fingernails. It's like we're both on the precipice and I could fall at any moment.
It reminds me briefly of that scene in Lion King when Mufasa is about to die and Scar kills him. This childhood memory makes me giggle and I suddenly lose all control on whatever I'm holding onto and the darkness encompasses me whole.