Scene Seven

the cottage
Another quick scene change, back to ENSEMBLE positions for Scene Four. SNOW WHITE is CS, sweeping. The EVIL QUEEN, disguised as an OLD WOMAN, appears UCS behind the 'door/window' thing.

OLD WOMAN: Lace for sale! Beautiful lace! (catching sight of SNOW WHITE) Ah, my pretty, come buy some lace!
SNOW WHITE: Oh, thank you, you're so kind. (she starts towards OLD WOMAN)
NARR. 1: But then Snow White remembered the dwarves' advice.
SNOW WHITE: (stopping, to herself) No, I can't believe that such a nice old woman could possibly be a danger. And besides, my stepmother thinks I'm dead. (to OLD WOMAN) Please, come in!

OLD WOMAN enters.

OLD WOMAN: (picking out some lace) Here, some lovely lace for your bodice. Would you like me to tie it for you?
SNOW WHITE: Oh, yes, thank you.

OLD WOMAN ties the lace. SNOW WHITE falls to the ground. OLD WOMAN, cackling, exits USC.

NARR. 1: Poor Snow White. But it's not the end, because when the dwarves came back from work...

Enter DWARVES USC. They make the horse-shoe again. When they're in position, the first DWARF  unties the lace, while the others gasp. By the time the last DWARF  does his huge gasp, it's untied. SNOW WHITE wakes up on the huge gasp.

SNOW WHITE: Oh!
NARR. 1: And so the dwarves saved Snow White.
NARR. 2: Damn!

DWARVES exit USC, apart from two DWARVES, who turn to SNOW WHITE.

NARR. 1: But then the next morning, when the dwarves left for work, they gave her the same warning:

DWARVES: Don't open the door to anyone.

They exit.

NARR. 1: This time, Snow White was sure that nothing could possibly happen to her.
NARR. 2: But yet again, she was wrong.
NARR. 1: Because that morning, when the evil queen asked her mirror the usual question, it replied...
 MIRROR: (from offstage) Snow White is the fairest, O queen. 
EVIL QUEEN: (from offstage) WHAT?!
NARR. 1: And so she came up with a new plan, one that was sure to work...
NARR. 2: She would kill Snow White. (She wasn't very imaginative.)

SNOW WHITE is CS, sewing. EVIL QUEEN, disguised as a different OLD WOMAN, appears USC behind the 'door/window'.

OLD WOMAN: Come buy, come buy! Beautiful combs for your hair! My dear, come try on this lovely comb! 
SNOW WHITE: Oh! How lovely!
NARR. 1: But then Snow White remembered the dwarves warning...
SNOW WHITE: I'm sorry. I'm really not supposed to let anyone in.
OLD WOMAN: What a shame. I could just pass it through the door, if you like? I needn't come in...
SNOW WHITE: Oh, okay then. I'm sure that'll be fine. It's not as if you're dangerous, or anything...

OLD WOMAN hands a comb through the door to SNOW WHITE, who takes it and puts it in her hair. Immediately, she falls to the floor. OLD WOMAN exits USC, cackling.

NARR. 2: You'd think we'd finally reached the end of our story...
NARR. 1: But we haven't. Because, luckily, when the dwarves returned from their long day's work...

Enter DWARVES USC. They make the horse-shoe again. When they're in position, the first DWARF removes the comb, while the others gasp. By the time the last DWARF  does his huge gasp, it's been removed. SNOW WHITE wakes up on the huge gasp.

SNOW WHITE: Oh!
NARR. 1: And so the dwarves saved Snow White. Again.
NARR. 2: You'd think they'd have got bored of her by now...
NARR. 1: Evidently not. But then the next morning, when the dwarves left for work, they gave her the same warning:

All DWARVES turn to SNOW WHITE.

DWARVES: Don't open the door to anyone.

They exit USC.

NARR. 1: Snow White had a good feeling about today. She was absolutely sure that nothing could possibly happen to her...
NARR. 2: But yet again, she was wrong.
NARR. 1: Because that morning, when her wicked stepmother asked her mirror the usual question, it again replied:
MIRROR: (from offstage) Snow White is the fairest, O queen.
EVIL QUEEN: (from offstage) WHAT?!
NARR. 1: And so the evil queen came up with a new and improved plan...
TOGETHER: She would kill Snow White. Again.

EVIL QUEEN enters DSL, and talks to NARR. 2.

EVIL QUEEN: I've got a much better idea now. What I've done, is I've poisoned this apple, so that the red half is poisonous, but the green half is okay. What do you think?
NARR. 2: (sceptically) Uh... Yeah... I mean, that's sure to work...

EVIL QUEEN exits and reappears USC, disguised as a different OLD WOMAN. SNOW WHITE is CS, doing something or other.

OLD WOMAN: Apples! Sweet, red, juicy apples! Come taste one, my dear - free of charge!
SNOW WHITE: Oh! Oh, no... I really mustn't... You see, I'm  not allowed to open the door to anyone, and my past experience with old female peddlers hasn't been all that positive...
OLD WOMAN: Oh, come on, my dear! How about this one? (holds out an apple) Look how delicious it is! It's perfectly safe. (takes a bite)
SNOW WHITE: It does look very tasty... Okay. Pass it through the window, and then technically, I haven't opened the door to anyone.

SNOW WHITE goes to the window/door, whatever it is, and OLD WOMAN passes the apple to her. SNOW WHITE takes one bite and falls to the ground. OLD WOMAN pulls off her disguise.

EVIL QUEEN: Ha ha! Now I am the fairest of them all!

Exits, cackling.

NARR. 2: And so Snow White died, boo hoo, the end. Finally.
NARR. 1: No, actually. Just wait a minute, because the dwarves will be coming back from work any moment now... Ah yes, that's them now.

Enter DWARVES USC. They make the horse-shoe again. When they're in position they gasp. The last DWARF does his huge gasp. When it has no effect, he gasps again.

DWARF: Okay. Now what do we do?
NARR. 1: The dwarves scratched their beards for a bit,
NARR. 2: and finally came up with a plan...

A DWARF comes up to NARR. 1 and explains their plan.

DWARF: We'll build a glass coffin for Snow White, so her beauty will remain for ever.

DWARF goes back to the others, who gather round SNOW WHITE with their backs to the audience and start making the coffin.

NARR. 2: I didn't say it was a good plan.

The End

6 comments about this story Feed