“Not particularly. Why do you ask?” I said as I tried to hide my surprise.
“Because I can't bear the thought of you having to face everything by yourself. While I spoke to you online, I'd never really given it much thought to who I could be writing to.”
“I don't get why you're still surprised over that.”
“Well, back then I respected your voice and your general outlook on life, but after I finally met you...”
“Let me guess, not what you expected?”
“I didn't know what to expect, to be honest.” Darek seemed even more troubled now.
“Sorry it was so unpleasant for you, then.” I looked away.
“I never said that. It's actually quite the opposite, I think.”
“Care to explain?”
“Okay, I'll get right to the point here. Would you consider us being more than what we are now?”
“I'm not sure. It seems I require more information in regards to whether it would be beneficial to me or not.” I said before I realized how painfully oblivious I sounded.
He then walked in closer. I watched him carefully as his eyes stared back into mine. Before I knew it, I was being embraced much like I was a while back when he'd told me a bit about his past. I was quite tense, but managed to loosen up slightly.
“I'll be here for you, okay?” His voice was quiet.
“Please let go.”
“I can't stand this anymore. You know that, right?”
“Could you be a little more specific?”
“Having to hold back when we both know that I can help you.” He held on tighter.
“You have. Probably more than what's obvious, though.” I managed to push him away slightly.
“Really? You're right about it being hard to notice, then.”
“Okay, do you honestly think I'd let anyone else drag me out to a 'place' in the middle of nowhere?”
“Do you regret it?”
“If I did, you'd know by now.” I shook my head.
“What do you think we should do about this?”
“I've already told you, I don't know if doing anything about it would be a good idea. But, I guess I wouldn't be completely opposed to the idea of us being...more than what we are.”
“Really? You're serious?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“I don't know if I'll ever make you happy, though.”
“You already do.” I smiled faintly.
“Never thought I'd see you smile.” He hugged me again gently.
“There's going to be a lot more contact now, isn't there?” I sighed.
“It's not a bad thing. You do feel better, though?”
“Yeah, I do. Feels nice...” I relaxed and embraced him slowly.
“You mean so much to me, you know that?”
“I do.” I replied simply.
We were both silent and the only sound I could hear was the cars passing in the distance. My tolerance with him came to an end and I inched back.
“We're going back now.” I said as I pushed him away slowly.
I didn't know why I didn't feel as miserable I usually did, but I suspected that it had something to do with him. He had added a lot of complications to my life and I knew I was at fault for allowing it to happen. Despite this, I felt as though I truly needed him to be there.