A gate to the Never Never, a magical dimension that mortals called Faerie, popped up suddenly in the middle of the floor, probably cast from behind the door by the Pudding. I could feel the magical presence of the gate, winding across my psyche like one of Murphy’s family picnics... only without the food and entertainment.
“Hold still,” the Pudding said from somewhere to the left of me, “in your condition, if you try to enter the Never Never, you’ll be easy pickings. Even for the Spiders. I will provide a suitable substitute for the Mantle while en route to our destination.”
Something wet and cold and contained began oozing over my body, and I had a sudden flashback to the Han Solo versus Carbonite Celebrity Death Match. And by the way, Han And Greedo Both Shot at the Same Time. Bite Me.
A crawling sensation crept over my skin, covering my ankles, my calves, my knees. The cold substance started up over my thighs, transforming my rubber duckie pyjamas as it gave me a rather disturbing wedgie. It crept over my back, meshing with my spine and leaving me doing my best Robocop impression on the floor of the motel.
“Fuck, that’s cold!” I managed, trying unsuccessfully to bite back on the chatter of my own teeth.
But the stuff kept creeping over me, filling my pores and shoving into me. Changing me. It felt like a tsunami of ice had suddenly decided to make out with my skin.