29th January 1930
I hold the child in my arms, the one with the big future, he will be great, so strong and healthy.
But not with me, he must live somewhere else.
I am so torn right now. I stare happily at my baby boy, but yet how can I love the boy that killed my wife?
No he must go, he will remind me every day, and I need to move on, I am not strong enough to take care of my child, to love him.
I touch his nose with my finger. Blindly his little stubs touch it, Oh but I do love him. Can I let him go? the one connection I have left.
I have the papers signed, his new parents are ready to take him now, they will give him a name, I decided not to, it was too much.
I am sad to see him go, but that sadness comes with relief, how could I love that child, he deserves love not hindered with grief and death, neh, though I hope one day I should meet him to see what has become of him, maybe... one day.