She pulled her legs out of bed as if they were on strings, she didn't want to get up but she couldn't fall asleep again. She had had a dream about when she was a little girl again, she watched her older sister die for the umpteenth time last night. Atlantis was only three years old at the time but every dream felt so real, it was like lucid dreaming but she couldn't change it. She stomped into the shower, she could still taste what she had in her dream, the slow drips of sweat that had pooled on her upper lip as she sat on the shore of the river, they had flowed into her mouth and she had grimaced at the taste as she tried to wipe it away. She stood under the water and felt the coconut scented shampoo slip down her arched back. She lifted up her hand in front of her face and watched the small water world within the single drop that was clinging on to the tip of her forefinger, she sighed and flipped it away from her hand. Lifting the same hand to her mouth she whispered into the water drop, watching how the small water humans looked up at her, brows furrowed, the laughed as the water inside swirled with the motion of her breath. As always she wondered if there were worlds like this inside herself, her capillaries as intricate streams with small swimmers, just like those in the water drops, flowing through her veins and breathing life into her flesh, her bones even. She still was not sure that if she opened up her body and looked through her rib cage if she'd see little cities or her actual heart, she hoped for a flower garden nestled in between her right and left ventricles. Maybe then her blood cells would be flower petals, she wanted to be beauty, inside, the outside didn't matter. The outside was already tainted and ugly, she couldn't tend to her outside beauty like she could her inner. Just do good things and you can have flower gardens in your inside, fall to evil and inject yourself with poison. Whichever extreme she fell to, she knew she'd always tell herself she was made of flower petals.