I find myself in a crowded, humming room, desk wooden and icy to the touch in front of me, wrists clamped and frozen in place by handcuffs and the smell of shoe polish nestles under my nose lingering in the air from the overpriced lawyer’s over priced shoes, themselves bought from an overpriced store with stock made by underpaid people.
I look around, faces my brain recognizes and creates and combines, their eyes staring around and at me until my eyes meet theirs in a flash of awkwardness. I see people. I hear a hammer beat down and a drawn out, guttural cough from someone behind me. I still smell the polish, but now the fresh smell of sweat meets my nostrils, the lawyer is nervous he’s not been here before but I am cold, indifferent and experienced and I allow myself one last glance round before I return to my hands resting on the table. I see a face I can’t help but recognize. When I first saw the girl who I would make and a woman, my bride and my wife my heart skipped a beat. I have lived long enough to know that this is fate making its self known, this is fate’s sign.
This is the gunshot that releases the runner from the blocks. This is the swoop of the trapdoor beneath your feet swinging open just before you fall and snap. Tension ceases in this moment of heart attack; you cannot breathe, your mind clears, your senses grow numb and cold, your eyes are hazed, and the incessant buzzing in your ears ceases for this grand moment of clarity the likes of which you will likely never meet again in your existence.
This is your moment, enjoy it.
You can choose to do something with this moment: a last goodbye, a surge of power or an act of romance. I knew I had to make this girl mine, my life had been building to this moment and now fate had given me the go ahead. Now she is and always was more than just a pretty face, and this girl is my world, my heart and soul encased within her, controlled by her. It was for her I made my mistakes, for her I had tried so hard to beat the game.
But the game always has rules, and the game needs to be seen through to the end.
I tried to win the game.