Thinking about it.Mature

The frigid St Paul never seemed so cold. 
Sometimes, there were nights where Silas wished he could lose control…just so that he could be warm from the resulting inferno.

Sometimes, he wondered how he survived so long.

Not even the deer were showing their faces.

The twin cities were kind to him though they provided a shelter from the cold. 
He broke his rule, and slept in a bed for the first time in two years.

The music is loud… 

"California Dreaming on such a winter's day…" He sung a note. It was harsh. He is still learning to use his voice again.

Since the nightmare. 
Since the asylum. 
Since Anne.

Not a single song was sung. 

He wondered if California would be any kinder to him than the Great Lakes have been. Minnesota reminded him even more of Anne.

Such a pretty city.
Such a pretty girl.
Such a pity.

All this beauty is wasted on a destructive, waste of life such as Silas. 

His thoughts echo in his head more than the cries of the wild animals, shivering in the cold.

"What's the matter? I've seen you in here for a bit, nothing but quiet out of you. What's wrong pal?" A man sat next to him at the table as Silas gazed into his soup.

He smiled faintly, "A silence long enough to be used for self-loathing is all the matters I have lately." 

"It's a real shithole. This life sometimes. But you know what, Kid? It's the only one we got. All the shit, all the pain. The struggles and the tears? It's all worth it. Because we're alive. If the dead could talk, all they would tell us is how much they wanted to try again. So, you gonna mope and be quiet and hate yourself to you die? Or are you going to try an enjoy things? An even more importantly, are you going to finish that soup? Because it's getting cold!" 

Silas slid the bowl over and said, "Thanks." A genuine smile crept up the side of his face and the homeless man graciously took the food and pat Silas's back.

"Chin up, kid. Things can always be worse."

"You have no idea." Mumbled Silas, as the man burned his tongue on the soup.

The End

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