I wish I had taken the path less traveled, or wandered lonely as a cloud. Instead I followed the herd and fell in with the crowd. I had nothing to declare and less than zero to share. I began my search for inner beauty and found no mirror that could reflect the charm and wisdom that calmed the pulsing dreads and fears. I believed in what they told me and bothered not to care. I understood everything and listened with one ear before letting it fall out the other onto a puddle on the pavement, fines assessed and paid.
Then you came, bright shining beacon of worth and virtue and, startled and smitten, I began to listen. You whispered sweet nothings about something and I found that courage I lacked, I threw off my despair. I grew a will and sprouted wings and start to soar, to reach heights above me, impossible to dare. No dream left my head; no desire roamed my heart, no passion lacked in my soul. A broken, shiftless clone became a unique organism of function and alit upon the sod and trod to a higher ground.
Then you passed and I fell back down. I sat and wallowed and scorned all those offering hands and hopes. I shunned the best and brightest and sought solace in the corners and alleys. My bright path to wondrous glories lay five leagues under an ocean of tears and regret – I never uttered the three words I came to dread until the visage of you cast a shadow on my head.
I felt pity and sorrow for myself, a casual kind, and wrapped indignation and righteous around all my fingers, entwined in a frail glove. I railed and ranted, raved and spoke – who did this to me and where can I go? Now that you wandered away and took my courage and desire, I can only tremble, spit and flail. How many days and seconds pass under my nose, untended and unknown? When did the promise of that brief shining moment fade and desolate my person, unwashed now in musk, heavy with loss.
I fell back in line and joined the pack, wishing for a quick end to a long slog to nowhere.