The morning passed by without much incident- no homework, though it didn't matter much to me anyway. It was easy to avoid him- we didn't have any classes together yet. It was lunch that I dreaded, and the rest of the day following.
The bell rang, and it was now time for lunch. My stomach did little flips and tied itself in knots. I didn't feel the need to be nervous, but I was all the same. I walked to the cafeteria lethargically, dragging my feet and walking slowly- prolonging my time.
I paused in the doorway, briefly noting that my table was, for the time being, empty. I walked to the back of the room and sat down, resting my head on my arms.
I felt the table shake slightly, and knew that somebody had sat down at the other end of the table. The fact that I couldn't tell who it was told me it was Carson. I'm not quite sure if that made sense or not, but whatever.
I looked up for a second to be sure, to see that I had been right. Carson was sitting in the same position as me, chin resting on his arms. I sighed and got up and switched to a fairly empty table. The few kids that were there dropped their jaws and gawked at me. Carson followed, and I moved back to my table. He followed me there, too.
"Seattle," He whined.
"Leave me alone," I glared at him.
"Seattle, com on. I know you're mad at me, but please just let me talk," he pleaded. He looked up at me, peering through his thick eyelashes. I wanted, so badly, so desperately to listen to him, to hear him out. But I couldn't. I refused to cave into this mad desire.
His eyes held me captive for an immeasurable moment, and it was all I could do to break that hold and switch back to the silent table of shocked kids. I was growing tired of this game and my patience was slipping away. With a temper such as mine, I supposed this wasn't a good thing.
He stared at me again, this time in shock. I didn't understand it. He recovered from whatever had caught him off guard quickly, though, and tried reasoning again.
"Seattle, please. Just let me talk for a minute," He pleaded. He did that thing again with his eyes; I realized then, that he was trying to use compulsion on me, because I wanted nothing more than to talk to him.
NO! I will NOT let him control me like this! But... I was so curious. I had to let him speak, had to hear what he had to say. No, no, no, no, no. These were bad thoughts, stupid thoughts. This was a mind game, his mind game. I couldn't afford to lose this one. My life was at stake here. If I make one wrong move, it's poof. Game over, and there's no redo's in this one.
With all of my strength, or so it felt, I resisted the false desire. I got up and moved to my original table again. He frowned, folling me again.
"Fine. You have thirty seconds to say anything, and then you leave me alone," I said, not sure I really wanted him to leave me alone. God... I did it. I caved, and I had tried so hard. After everything, it was going to end just like this.
His eyes alight with triumph, he opened his mouth to speak. "I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean for it to happen, and I was stupid to bring it up." I knew what he was talking about. But, for some reason, he wasn't saying what exactly it was he was talking about to spare me as much as he could from the listening kids around us.
"Fifteen, fourteen..." I murmured. I knew he heard me. I continued counting backwards in my head.
"I don't know how I'm going to make it up to you yet, but I promise you that I will," he said. He sounded so sincere. I saw through it, though. But he was a good actor, I admitted, giving him some credit for ruining my so-so life here in Coldwater.
"You don't need to make it up, because you're not getting a chance," I said solemnly. I hoped he couldn't see any pain in my eyes. Because, though it was stupid, and I shouldn't feel that way, I did. It hurt more than I expected it would to say the words aloud.
"Please," He begged.
"No," I said, trying to convince myself now, more than I was trying to convince him. For some reason, I didn't want him to give up. But I knew that he had to. He was a Silver Liner for God's sake.
I shook my head, laughing humorlessly at myself. And I walked away. Without a word, I left the big room, ignoring the curious stares that followed me.