Just a little something I wrote in my diary. I kindof made up the 'I'm dying' part as I put it on here, makes it look better (:
I used to be happy being single, "free".
But a little too much freedom is unhealthy.
Is it right for me to be walking around, feeling as if only one half of a soul lives inside me? Or no soul at all?
I feel empty.
A cookie jar with no cookies: there's no point in having the jar.
A glass with no water to hold: why keep the glass?
Imagine being the jar or the glass.
Yeah. That's how I feel.
But, what if the jar was to be occupied? The glass to be filled?
But what, what if it wasn't?
What if fate damned you to be empty for all of your life?
I guess I'm lucky my life has an expire date. Only around 6 years left. Guess I'm lucky I'm gonna die. Guess I'm lucky, period. Or maybe I'm not.
Do you ever feel as if you're not wanted?
Forever questioning the reason of your existence.
I want somebody to hold me, to kiss me, to tell me that they love me - and mean it.
I want that warm, fuzzy feeling in my stomach.
I want to feel warm instead of shivering in the sweltering heat.
I want to feel warm when it's freezing, even if it's just on the inside.
The cookie jar being clattered against marble as it is rolled carelessly, being pushed out of the way.
The glass shattering into a thousand shards as it is thrown onto cold tiles.
Nobody bothering to pick either of them up.
What does it feel like to have been empty for what feels like an eternity?
What happens when your supposedly "best friend" goes behind your back and tells everybody you're an idiot?
When your other "friend" makes a club saying they hate you?
To have people join?
Well, I should know.
You're left on your own, that's what happens.
And you're empty.
You slowly start losing friends, until you're left with just one.
And you feel like saying to them, "why bother, huh? Go hang with the populars. You know you want to."
You lay on the tiles, broken.
You stay flung across the hard marble surface.
And you're left there, forever.