Every experience in my life, even yours, has educated me; every snowflake that fell, every storm that hit, and every first time has taught me life is intricate, beautiful, pure and short.  Every last time I touched a loved one; Every last time I said I “love you”; every last time I smelt the air in the morning and knew for certain this would be a great day; These moments, these are the moments which have taught me to savor those in life which are created in true love and honesty, which we never knew would not last forever. 

Every life, which has life, has taught me to be myself to stand up and proclaim my convictions, and every cruel aside has taught me to stay who I am, above all odds and fight back.  The hate taught me more worth and amour than I would have ever learnt being someone else.   I used to wake up in midnight-mare and ponder the value of my existence.

If I give up today will I be gone tomorrow?  

I would long for everything that made tomorrows, full of new moments, first time happiness; if I could live through the hell of today, what could tomorrow be?  It could only get better.  I wake up and all is the same, the fear that if I stop, I might fall, became my driving power. For if I fell, today would always be my today and the brilliance that made those tomorrows’ would never come…  

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Author Guidance for This Story

This story is one of three short story concepts in my collection "Having Sex on a Bed of Nails" which questions- Can we truly love that which causes us pain?

It is not for the faint hearted and does at times deal with extremely mature content, and strong drug use.

It tells the story of a man- on the dawn of his thirtieth birthday -who returns to the place of his happiest memories, to attempt to make sense of his missing joy, only to find he is being haunted by what he seeks.
His true challenge will come in determining which are real and which are illusions.

updated Feb 6, 2009 by wickedmirror