She comes in at 7.45am. This implies she lives a little far.
Arrives in a van, kind of a carpool thing , so there are other kids with her. This implies she isn’t too rich.
Wears a brown and yellow bag pack. This probably implies that….
That you’re a paranoid stalker?
Okay ya, maybe I’m crossing the line. I don’t need to think that much. But I really can’t help it. From the past two days I’ve just been coming an hour early, waiting by the window at that exact time, then watching her walk from the gate to the building, and then running to my corner seat or the “viewing booth “ as I call it, and look at her from the corner of my eye the entire day. I don’t even know her name. I know what your thinking, that it’s obviously straightforward. I ought to just walk to her and say something, start a conversation.
It’s really not as easy as it looks.
Let me explain it to you this way. If someone told you that you had to play a football match organized by your neighborhood people, you’d waltz your way to the field .But if someone told you , your up against the national football team, you would obviously get a mild heart attack in the least. This was something like that. She wasn't just a regular girl , one that I would want to just high five while walking past.
She was really something else.
So I had to play this safe. I could not risk ruining my first impression.
Which is exactly what happened today .
As per my daily routine, I arrived at 7.15am. The class was empty. Usually no one came until 7.30. I unpacked my stuff . The sun was just coming up, the sky was kind of reddish blue. Its like the gods wanted to shine a spotlight on the leading lady of the play of my life.
Your losing it man.
Im not losing my sanity.
No I meant your losing your manhood.
Shut up brain.
Okay. Now as usual I needed “the chair” to prop up against the window so I could stand on it (not that I’m short. I just need a good view) but I cannot find it anywhere. Now “the chair” is a chair with extra long legs that no one uses, but can reach by the window sill perfectly. But that’s missing today. The janitor probably took it.
Dude I sense something…
Shut up inner voice I’m trying to find the tall chair.
Okay I’ll have to improvise. Its no big deal I can just stand on my toes on a normal chair. I pull up my everyday chair and prop it up against the window. As expected a few inches shorter.
I’m really having a bad feeling about this.
Relax this chair is fine I won’t fall.
I know that , but I’m still having a bad feeling.
Okay when my inner voice indicates a bad feeling. It normally turns out to be a disastrous. Maybe my chair is very fragile. I ought to check it. I climb up the chair with trembling legs , fearing that it may crash down any time and…
Its just fine. Not even a squeak.
In fact I’m getting a better view. This is awesome I was fretting over nothing . I can probably apply more pressure on the chair to test it , I think, so I raise a foot slightly.
The chair’s rock solid.
This is so challenging. I bet if I raise my knee upto my chest and hop a little , the chair still won’t give in.
IT DIDN’T.I’m hopping away, partly with happiness that the chair won’t break at all and partly with the fact that in half an hour I’m going to see the most incredible girl in the world !! Boo-ya, inner voice!! You were fretting over nothing! THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN SCREW MY…..
“What are you doing?”
I turn around.
SHE IS RIGHT THERE. IN FRONT OF ME. IN FLESH AND BLOOD. JUST THE TWO OF US.
And I’m looking as if the Oscar award statue decided to do yoga.
She looks at me for two seconds, trying to register what exactly I'm trying to achieve. And me being the first class idiot that I am, do not budge from my position. I am so flabbergasted all my muscles are paralyzed.
Super awkward dude.
Finally the silence between us is broken as she starts laughing profusely and runs out.I am still paralyzed .Once shes gone I finally feel my legs again. And then a heavenly miracle happens, which literally completes the whole circle of screw ups.
I lose my balance and fall face first.
I spend the rest of the day in utter horror of what just happened. I ask my best friend Nik for a solution, but he starts laughing too. I try telling the school nurse who's checking if I broke my nose, but my voice was drowned by her voice, complaining about her husband . I cannot bring myself to look at anyone in the face today. I wish I was old enough start drinking. I want to break that stupid chair and burn it and throw away the ashes. What was I thinking??
This is hilarious . I’m going to store it in your subconscious mind and broadcast it in your dreams for the rest of your life.
I hate myself so much.
Luckily though, what happens the next day more than makes up for today ;)