"Gran'mommy, I'm hungry!"

Of course this verbal outburst came not from a student in Ralph's class, but rather from the young and front-tooth-less mouth of Janey. If you asked her, she would proudly proclaim that she was in preschool and at the pristine age of three. Sorry, three an' a haff. 

"Now, Janey, you can have something to eat after we see the giraffes," came her grandmother's tender reply, soft like the cookies she had baked that weekend.

"But I don't want giraffes! I want food!" Janey's reply was, again, loud and accompanied by violet gesticulations, causing the balloon-dog tied about her wrist to bobble franticly in the air.

Being the generous old woman that she was, grandma gave in.

"Alright, we shall get you a frozen yogurt."

"Ice cream!"

"Yes, ice cream," she fibbed. What Janey didn't know couldn't hurt her, could it?

So off they went on their escapade for yogurt of the frozen variety, granny, Janey, and balloon doggy, too. Eventually happening upon it, Janey settled on strawberry, simply because it was pink.

Her bowl was laid out before her, spoon gripped in small hands like a dagger, napkins littering the table around her in preparation for the inevitable.

Eat the yogurt, Janey.

It was a voice much like Winnie the Pooh's, but it echoed only in Janey's mind.

Eat it, Janey. It is the yogurt of fate!

And so eat it she did, even though she knew not what fate was.

///

"Scrumptious, just scrumptious!"

"He is such an idiot," one of the students muttered between spoonfuls of raspberry iced yogurt. The zoo had 'gone fit' and had thus converted their menu to serve 'healthy choices,' among the other changes.

You have eaten of the yogurt of faaaate!

Again the Winnie the Pooh-esque voice resonated, this time in the student's mind. He turned and looked around, warily.

Odd, was his only thought.

But as he went back to finish off the yogurt, his eyes crossed over young Janey and her pink mess, but became fixed on the mass of yellow bobbing above her head: a balloon dog. Simple. Innocent. But so devious.

He glared, and when Janey saw him, she glared back.

The yogurt of fate has tied you together!

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Well, I thought this might be rather fun. The idea is along the lines of an improvisational comedy, the fun forming along the lines of, "Wow how did I just string those into a story?" Normally, you just can't string these random ideas together without adding some humor.
So here it is: Each chapter title lists three (or more) features that must be added to the story at some point. You should cover at least a few in each chapter. Bonus points go out to those who can cover more features than are listed in their title. And of course, the crown will be passed from writer to writer for whoever includes the MOST amount of features in the shortest amount of writing.
Don't worry about getting too random, but do heed the advice of kissing the dice before you let 'em role. We want to keep the randomology in the realm of ridiculous and avoid weird/confusing.
Have fun. :)

updated Aug 27 by olius_brightwell