Note to self: Life sucks.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, what they're saying are lies. Lies.

I am thinking about this as I sit in the middle of Emily's kitchen floor, holding her in my arms. Smoothing down her hair and wipeing away the odd tear.

I know you're all wondering what the hell I'm doing in the middle of Emily's kitched floor. The answer is simple; this is where Emily's legs gave out from under her and she collapsed sobbing. I ran to her and she threw her arms around me, whimpering the same two words over and over again into my shoulder.

"He's gone."

I didn't say anything. What could I say? Nothing. Nothing would make her feel better. I just held her, gently rocking her.

She sniffs. "I still don't really believe it, you know?"

I look down at her scarred, but absolutely stunning face. I smile, lying my cheek on her hair, I whisper; "me neither. But that's okay, this is going to take a while to get used to."

"But I don't want to get used to it. I never want to get used to it. I want to love him forever."

I find myself laughing softly. "Oh Em. You can love him forever, he still loves you and you still love him - you will always love him, no matter where he is. And no one can take that away from you. No one." I tighten my grip around her a little bit more.

More silence.

"I still expect him to come waltzing through the door. Just walk in, come over to me and kiss me. You know, like he always did."

I sigh. I didn't know what to say to that.

"Jacob?" She mumbles, "can I tell you something. No one knows, I didn't even tell Sam."

Oh my God. A secret she didn't even tell Sam.

Before I even think about it, I gently hiss, "yes."

She smiles, then hesitates. "I'm... I'm - "

"You're what?" I encourage.

"I'm..." She shivers in my arms.

"You can trust me." I say.

She shakes her head, "I know."

The silence is deafening. I give her time, not wanting to push her - bully her, into telling me.

"I'm pregnant."

The End

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