People took a step back if they looked at a face and Sesome didn't blame them. Normal people don't have scares all over their faces. Normal men did not wear their hair down their back, and wear layers of clothing in sweltering heat. Normal people went to school past sixth grade, normal people don't sleep in closets, or go into panic attacks if someone bumps into them from behind. Normal people can eat and don't throw plates against the wall because they only feel anger when they don't get a recipe right.
Shisa didn't ever seem to care if Sesome was normal. He didn't care if Sesome was hauled up in the closet for hours. Shisa also made Sesome unable to say no. Shisa had to be taken for walks, vet visits. Sesome could avoid going to the grocery store, literally too pitiful that he would go hungry for days because walking into the brightly lit store made him break down.
That couldn't happen, he would not let Shisa starve because of him. He had to live, if the doctors thought he was not getting better, that citizen life was too stressful he would have to go back. Originally the only reason he didn't like that idea was all the people seeing his countless failures, but now there was something worse. Shisa wouldn't be able to come.