'Twas the night before Christmas,when all through the house,
Nothing was stirring, not even her blouse.
Her nylons were hung on the bedpost with care,
In hopes that Sam Nicholas would soon be there.
Sweet Suzy was nestled all snug in her bed,
While visions of romance danced in her head.
She in her nightie and Sam in his shorts,
Would soon cuddle up with a bottle of port.
When out on the lawn there came such a clatter,
Suzy opened the window to see what was the matter.
Away to the window she flew in a flash,
Put on her robe so as to cover her ash.
The moon on her breast gave all a good show,
To all the carolers standing out in the snow.
When what to her wandering eyes did appear,
But old Sam Nicholas holding a beer.
As the carolers sang, old Sam gave a shout,
"Come on, Suzy Baby, let it all hang out."
To the top of the porch, old Sam did jump,
But missed by a foot, so he fell with a bump.
The carolers thought "Let's help the old drunk,
We'll carry him in so he can sleep in his bunk."
So into the door and up the stairs,
The carolers carried him, they did so in pairs.
Now, Frazier! Now, Tasha! Now, Nicky and Marc-ky!
On, Jacky! On, Cheshie! On, Miki and Parky!
Into the bed, old Sam they did toss,
Which made Sweet Suzy terribly cross.
But with a crack of her whip, and a blast of her whistle,
The carolers took off like a nuclear missile.
But she heard them exclaim as they flew out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to you both, on your wedding night."