Veronica Handcroft: Former Employer of Pistol McDoozie as a baby sitter
I thought I would give the poor boy a chance, you know? He was about seventeen, looked sensible enough, and I desperately needed someone to look after Joel for me. So I put up a couple of flyers and in came Pistol McDoozie. His name sort of scared me, but Joel definitely liked it, went on for next couple of days asking why I named him Joel and not Revolver.
Anyhow, Pistol starting working right away. We agreed on six dollars an hour and worked every other day, and the odd one in between or late at night. Joel loved him. Really. They were like best buddies, talking about Star Wars and computer games I'd never heard of. I was glad I found Pistol, despite the exotic name. That was until I found the magazine.
Now, it's all fine with me if Joel wants to talk about girls with a close guy friend. He never spends much time with his father and he's got to be in need of some man-to-man talk every now and then. But if I find Playboy that says "Property of Pistol McDoozie" hidden under the cushions of the couch, that's going a bit too far.
So what could I do? I had to fire him and he didn't take it too well. Started begging on his knees for forgiveness, saying how he had to support his mother and father to pay the mortgage. I admit, I did feel sorry for him, but there was the purity of the mind of a ten-year-old at stake, so I gave him his last payment, plus a little bonus and gently shut the door.