Screwing the Pooch: Advice for the well-adjustedMature

screw up Jon's life.... proper

                   Jon is a good guy. He is often described by friends and co-workers as- well-adjusted, responsible, sensible, friendly, solid and  hard working.  You'd  have look hard to find somebody doesn't like the guy enough to bother telling you they didn't like the guy. And no one would be able to recall a time when freaked out, went off or fucked it up.

                  Comes from that hard-to- find solid family background, you know- Mother, Father (still happily together after 30 years), younger sister he's always gotten along with. All of them college-educated and financially stable, that is to say- not wanting for anything, but not having so much money as would piss off the typical rich-folks hater. He even has what could be described as the bare minimum of drama in the immediate extended family. All of this no doubt contributes to his well rounded character profile, but lets give him credit for not deciding to be the family fuck-up; most of these families usually gots one douchebag who decides the family is just a little too perfect and takes it upon him or herself to be a fucktard.


      He's got himself a standard sort of social support network for someone in their mid- twenties. Serious girlfriend he could imagine getting married to, a couple close friends ranked as confidants, several more he can enjoy a beer with, loads of other friends and co-works he can happily discuss sport-stats or the odd small talk with. And an assortment of childhood friends and college buddies.

          We'll probably understand Jon better if we get anecdotal for a bit. It's helpful to know Jon doesn't own any porn. Sure, when necessary, he'll use the internet as it was intended to be used, but doesn't own any thing in printed form, nor does he keep a single picture or video on his hard drive. He doesn't smoke, though he doesn't bitch about being in the presence of those who do. He's obnoxiously free of any kind of addiction. Doesn't even drink coffee. Tried pot once or twice in high school, but nothing more illicit than that. He's one of those guys who always stops after a couple beers, never drinks the booze, and only gets drunk on birthdays or when other social events make it prudent.

      And he's a sanitary dude. Keeps a clean flat; even does the floors and windows periodically. Once, in a bar with some friends, openly discussing the merits of pissing the shower, he'd thought to himself how the act was a bit nasty and how it had never occurred to him not to get out of that shower and put the piss in the appropriate place, but he didn't say anything about it,  seeing that no one in his company seemed to share that point of view.

     Of course, with narrative access to a guy's thoughts, we could go on forever describing a person- so let's just go ahead and declare him described.

      At this point, owing to the way we've described Jon, a lot of folks would start to go negative on the guy. Everything's perfect? No vices? No addictions? No obsessions? Don't even piss in the shower? I reckon he is boring as fuck to talk too. Without a doubt, in no way, worth reading about. Not really believable. Like some character you'd see on television any night, tween 8 and ten.

Yea, sure, it would be hard to find this dude. They few and far between, but believe you me.... Those fuckers are out there, living clean like it's their job.

Fucking things up doesn't seem to be in their nature. The alignment in they're vehicles is dead on. It doesn't occur to them not to step out the shower.

He need a little help.

The End

0 comments about this story Feed