I didn't know what to expect but, the silence on the other end of the phone was killing me.
Let's see, how did it go.. mothers and fathers loved their children, brothers and sisters loved each other. A crock, that was all it was. Why did society set the standards on who and what to love? Who did Dr. Spock think he was? Did he have a plan laid out for each child that was born.
My family had been dysfunctional to the 10th^.. And I don't know, I felt stronger for it, I didn't need anyone.. So, why was I waiting for my drugged out brother to say something? Why didn't he say something?
I pulled the receiver away from my ear and stared at it.. Why wasn't he saying something??? He owed me, he owed me big time, I had to sit with the old lady while she rotted away, I had to listen to how much I should have been like him, how she disapproved of my life choices, as if, she had helped me make any, as if she'd grabbed my hand when I'd stretched it out to her.
He owed me big time, yes he did but, I sat the receiver in the cradle very gently, I leaned my head on my hands and allowed myself.... to cry.....
I wished, I was still with the children in Tibet..