In my inner sanctum, I take a handfull of pills, and chase it with a mug of whatever my pleasure for the day is. I don't bother to eat, whatever I drop in my pit will only burn as it digs it's way into my soft acid lined gut.
I thought about the homeless men, must be nice when you can stop bathing, stop working, stop making sense, stop caring and the whole world feels sorry. Who makes that choice?
The fire is warm, it starts to spread, I see it coming closer and closer but, I can't move. Instead I stare, mesmerized, my eyes not blinking, not moving from the serpentine trail of red that moves towards me. My mother stands there, my brother stands there, the children from Tibet stand there, they all watch.
The fire creeps slowly, steadily, liquidly up my arm, I feel nothing. It spreads across my legs, up my thighs. I watch, amazed as it engulfs my private area, no pain..
Everyone watches, no one moves, the red slides across my torso, and it all disappears in my chest. Now I feel the hot fire, now I feel the burn, I open my mouth to scream and flames shoot forth, swallowing those that had watched me burn.
I woke sweat drenched, tear stained, wishing for the cool wet rain that was washing the dirty miserable sidewalk..
I needed a drink or, pills or, maybe I should call my brother..