I spurred the unicorn on but, to my surprise, there was a strange whirring, my vision rippled, and I found myself in front of a huge black castle.
Weird. But still epic.
I hopped off of the mount, jogging towards the massive double doors.
I slammed my fist on the door, hoping I was in the right place.
"Anybody home? Hello?"
I raised my hand to pound the door again but it swung open, leaving me trying to lower my hand awkwardly.
The guy I'd saved back at the river looked at me, the sounds of a riotous party coming from behind him.
Wait...how did he?
Before I could react he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the crowd, through a mishmash of bodies all mashed together.
Safe to say I wasn't having the time of my life.
"We have to find my father." I heard blondie saying, his voice somehow carrying over the booming music.
I was on the verge of yelling back that I had no idea who his old man was when he stopped, and I practically slammed into him.
"What is this?" I asked angrily, "I have somewhere to be, you know!"
He pointed to a scantily-clad brunette.
"That's my great-aunt. If she sees us we'll be stuck here for eons."
I glanced to where he was pointing and resisted the urge to mutter a string of expletives.
"So what do you want me to do?" I asked incredulously.
"Tell me where she is. If I can navigate around her somehow-"
"She's walking this way." I muttered, "Four yards. Three. Two-"
I felt him lowering his head towards me and I pushed him away instinctively.
"What the hell?"
My vision rippled and I felt a searing pain in my head.
If you stray too far from your original memories your mind will turn into the equivalent of mush. Try to play along.
I started at Charon's booming voice, and realized quickly that I was the only one that heard it. Play along? I didn't even know what my 'original memories' were!
"Just try to play along." the blonde hissed, "If June sees me, by Hell she'll-"
Something clicked and I grabbed his collar, pulling him down to kiss me.
His great-aunt passed by with a millisecond to spare, and I jerked him away as soon as we were in the clear.
I wiped my mouth off, resisting the urge to shudder.
"What's with your tongue?" I asked, disgusted.
He smirked, sticking the tongue in question out at me.
It was forked, like a snake's.
"I see my father. Let's go."
He led me towards a wall, where I found a slightly older version of him sitting on a couch, surrounded by women.
I had a hard time believing these were my memories.
"You from around these parts?" older blonde asked, taking a long drag from a cigarette.
"Maybe. I don't know. This is all new to me." I offered, getting everyone to stare at me.
My vision rippled again and I winced. Guess I didn't say that the first time around.
"Your highness," Blonde #1 said, bothered, "We had an appointment."
Blonde #2 looked at him pensively, before nodding.
"Eversio, isn't it? You were five minutes late."
"Purgatory's been pushing our borders!" Blonde #1 said angrily, "We have to do something!"
Purgatory? It was official, I was on some kind of opioid trip.
"They can join the party." Blonde #2 replied, looking at me, "What are you here for?"
"I need answers." I sighed, trying not to tap my foot in impatience.
He looked at me through heavy-lidded eyes.
"Come sit on my lap and I'll give you all the answers you need."
I resisted the urge to punch myself. What kind of promiscuous lifestyle had I been leading in the past?
After a second of mental debate I walked over and perched myself on his knee.
I didn't have the time to feel humiliated. I needed all of the information I could get.
"Are you serious?" Eversio asked, my vision rippling again.
Okay, so I guess I hadn't been this forward the first time around. It didn't matter. Blonde #2 was clearly important. If anyone could tell me what was going on, it was him.
"Who am I?" I asked him, "Why am I here?"
He studied me carefully.
"A philosophical type, are we? You and Dante would be fast friends."
I shook my head.
"Not like that. I need you to tell me what I did in my time here. Anything."
A look of realization passed over his face.
I nodded frantically.
"I'm not real, am I?" he asked somewhat sadly.
Watch it. Charon's voice resounded, sounding much closer than the first time.
"Of course you're real." I stammered, "I...was sent back through time. But I got amnesia."
This was why I didn't take drama class, okay?
The vision shuddered and I found myself in another room, but now in Blonde #2's arms.
I was on the verge of pushing myself away when I realized I had no sensation in my legs. He was holding me up.
"The assassin poisoned you." he explained, "One of their abilities."
Abilities. Like Charon said.