"Wake up, will you?"
I jerked out of sleep, realizing that my face had been lying on the book I'd been perusing, and simultaneously rubbed my eyes and the drool from my face.
"Whmpgoowan?" I asked blearily. (Translation: What do you want?)
"You have a long line of potential advisors waiting to be interviewed. If you're not too busy napping I'd like to send the first in."
I scowled at him, rolling my eyes.
"Your dad is right. You're a total killjoy."
He kept looking at me with that stern look and I groaned, shutting the book and nodding.
"Fine, bring on the candidates."
"How...many...more?" I asked Eversio, having to use my fingers to hold my eyes open.
"You're almost halfway there." he proclaimed cheerily, "I hope you've been keeping good notes."
"Notes?" I laughed, on the verge of hysteria, "I've had at least five hundred different psychopaths to question in the past four hours!"
"-Four hundred seventy-three." Eversio interjected.
"Whatever. Some of them wanted to kill me, others wanted to scare me out of my living wits, a good portion tried to seduce me and...and at least three tried to eat me!"
"In some regions it's considered a greeting." Eversio shrugged, "Hell doesn't do formalities very well."
I stared at him.
"And you couldn't have mentioned this before?!"
"You didn't ask."
I was tempted to throw the paperweight on the desk at him but was quickly distracted when I looked at it closely.
"Jesus! Is this real?!"
Eversio stared at me.
"Watch your language, Commander, or you'll be overthrown before you get the chance to do anything. And yes, I think it is. I distinctly remember the royal taxidermist mentioning-"
I zoned out, staring at the skull. I lifted it up, carefully, and looked into the empty sockets.
"Alas, poor Yorick..." Eversio muttered, "The man shouldn't have badmouthed my father."
I shuddered and put the thing down, wiping my hand off on my skirt vigorously.
"I agree," Eversio offered, "It hasn't been polished in years."
A random voice interrupted the moment.
"Um, hello? Is there, like, an interview going on here?"
A girl somewhere around my age was standing in the doorway, twirling a strand of blonde hair around her finger. It wasn't hard to notice that she was also chewing gum.
Eversio straightened up considerably.
"As a matter of fact, there is. Have a seat."
She strolled over and plopped down in the chair across from me, spinning around and staring at the ceiling.
"Thanks." I muttered, before starting on the list of questions I'd drawn up, "What's your name?"
"Manara Quinn. But everyone calls me Manni."
"Okay, Manni," I continued, trying to stay awake, "What makes you a good fit for the job?"
She was lost in thought a second before answering.
"I'm like, good at people stuff. And I could probably help you do something about that hair..."
"Are you currently employed?"
"Would you ever consider eating a human being?"
"Nah, too many calories."
"Tell me about yourself."
Manara's eyes lit up and she started chewing her gum faster.
"So, like, I stopped at the mall on the way here, and, like there was this crazy sale and blahblahblahblahblah..."
I had already zoned out, nodding every ten seconds and trying to keep my eyes from closing.
It was going to be a long day.