SCALES-16

"Wake up, will you?"

I jerked out of sleep, realizing that my face had been lying on the book I'd been perusing, and simultaneously rubbed my eyes and the drool from my face.

"Whmpgoowan?" I asked blearily. (Translation: What do you want?)

Eversio sighed.

"You have a long line of potential advisors waiting to be interviewed. If you're not too busy napping I'd like to send the first in."

I scowled at him, rolling my eyes.

"Your dad is right. You're a total killjoy."

He kept looking at me with that stern look and I groaned, shutting the book and nodding.

"Fine, bring on the candidates."

"How...many...more?" I asked Eversio, having to use my fingers to hold my eyes open.

"You're almost halfway there." he proclaimed cheerily, "I hope you've been keeping good notes."

"Notes?" I laughed, on the verge of hysteria, "I've had at least five hundred different psychopaths to question in the past four hours!"

"-Four hundred seventy-three." Eversio interjected.

"Whatever. Some of them wanted to kill me, others wanted to scare me out of my living wits, a good portion tried to seduce me and...and at least three tried to eat me!"

"In some regions it's considered a greeting." Eversio shrugged, "Hell doesn't do formalities very well."

I stared at him.

"And you couldn't have mentioned this before?!"

"You didn't ask."

I was tempted to throw the paperweight on the desk at him but was quickly distracted when I looked at it closely.

"Jesus! Is this real?!"

Eversio stared at me.

"Watch your language, Commander, or you'll be overthrown before you get the chance to do anything. And yes, I think it is. I distinctly remember the royal taxidermist mentioning-"

I zoned out, staring at the skull. I lifted it up, carefully, and looked into the empty sockets.

"Alas, poor Yorick..." Eversio muttered, "The man shouldn't have badmouthed my father."

I shuddered and put the thing down, wiping my hand off on my skirt vigorously. 

"That's disgusting."

"I agree," Eversio offered, "It hasn't been polished in years."

Weirdo.

A random voice interrupted the moment.

"Um, hello? Is there, like, an interview going on here?"

A girl somewhere around my age was standing in the doorway, twirling a strand of blonde hair around her finger. It wasn't hard to notice that she was also chewing gum.

Eversio straightened up considerably.

"As a matter of fact, there is. Have a seat."

She strolled over and plopped down in the chair across from me, spinning around and staring at the ceiling.

"Nice place."

"Thanks." I muttered, before starting on the list of questions I'd drawn up, "What's your name?"

"Manara Quinn. But everyone calls me Manni."

"Okay, Manni," I continued, trying to stay awake, "What makes you a good fit for the job?"

She was lost in thought a second before answering.

"I'm like, good at people stuff. And I could probably help you do something about that hair..."

"Are you currently employed?"

"Nope."

"Would you ever consider eating a human being?"

"Nah, too many calories."

"Tell me about yourself."

Manara's eyes lit up and she started chewing her gum faster.

"So, like, I stopped at the mall on the way here, and, like there was this crazy sale and blahblahblahblahblah..."

I had already zoned out, nodding every ten seconds and trying to keep my eyes from closing.

It was going to be a long day. 

The End

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