"He's...talking about nothing." I supplied, "Are you okay?"
"I feel like I drank some of my father's moonshine, but other than that I think I'll live."
He sat up and brushed the dirt off of his soggy suit.
"And this was Armani too..."
YOUR HIGHNESS, I BELIEVE THERE'S SOMETHING YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR RESCUE.
"Bob, leave him alone." I replied sharply, "He needs some time to recuperate."
REALLY, SIRE, I THINK YOU'LL FIND IT QUITE INTERESTING-
"Please, Bob." Eversio interrupted, "I know that she gave me mouth-to-mouth. She was chewing gum."
I felt my face drop.
God, this was embarrassing.
"No." he replied, "Don't expect me to be telling the truth. And Bob, you stop playing the Devil's advocate, okay?"
BUT YOUR HIGHNESS-
"No buts. I never liked smokers anyways."
He sighed before gesturing to the path in front of us.
"We should get a move on."
I looked at him in surprise.
"What about Charon? Shouldn't you arrest him or something?"
"He's one of my father's favourites. There's no point in me trying to get him in trouble."
"But he-he pushed me in!" I insisted, using my arms to punctuate my point.
"It looked to me like you fell." he replied, "No offense, but you're kind of a klutz."
WHAT HE MEANS TO SAY IS THAT YOU'RE A TOTAL BUFFOON.
"Gee thanks, Bob." I muttered, "Clearly you hell dwellers have no understanding of gratitude."
"How about a visit to the great King himself?" Eversio offered, with intense cynicism, "I'm sure he'll want to lavish praise onto you, his beloved son's saviour."
"Uh..." I started, realizing that he was talking about Satan, "I'm good."
TOO BAD. HIS HIGHNESS HAS A MEETING WITH HIS FATHER AND WILL UNDOUBTEDLY FORCE YOU TO TAG ALONG.
"Right on, Bob." Eversio replied, starting to walk, "Now let's move before any rogue souls find us."
"Rogue souls?" I asked, sounding considerably more scared than I actually was, "I thought that souls went in The Styx."
SOME COME LOOSE OF THEIR PRISON AND LIE IN WAIT FOR A WAYWARD TRAVELER TO FEAST ON.
"Okay, now I feel a thousand times safer. Thanks Bob."
NO PROBLEM, RECRUIT.
"Bob," Eversio started, "Call up the mounts. I'm not in the mood to walk."
He could barely walk in a straight line.
AS YOU WISH, YOUR HIGHNESS.
Eversio stopped, sitting on a rock from exertion.
I looked at him a second before phrasing my question.
"Why did you jump into the Styx after me?"
He glanced up without saying anything. I noticed just then that his eyes were hundreds of colours swimming together, as if all of the precious metals in the world had been thrown together into a furnace.
A very nicely dressed furnace.
"You could have left me to die." I continued, "I don't know much about the rank system down here but I'm pretty sure I'm insignificant."
Eversio looked off at the horizon and then the ground.
"I manage most of hell's military forces. If there's one thing the army has taught me, it's that you leave no man behind."
"I thought demons were supposed to be selfish?"
"I'm only half demon."
I paused a second for replying.
"Thanks, though. I appreciate it."
I offered him my right hand and he shook the other, explaining that offering a demon your right hand was the same thing as committing suicide.
Note to self: sucks being right handed.
Right then the sound of hooves brought my attention back to the road.