'What a beautiful day!' exclaimed Sammy as he trotted merrily through the flowery forest.
The sunlight was bright, illuminating the forest like a Christmas tree. However, the lovely day was suddenly stunted by the sound of a snap echoing through the forest, followed by an intense pain radiating through Sammy's right foreleg.
'Oh, God!' he yelled out in pain as he realised he had walked into a unicorn trap, severing his foot from just above the hoof. 'It seems I have suffered a mild accident!'
He ignored the pain and the blood that accompanied it, and decided to head over to Prutty's house, the pheasant doctor who had replaced Pratty after he died from turtle flu.
Sammy would have been making great time, but his severed foot was slowing him down, and although he saw the tree falling towards him, he was unable to move in time.
A mighty crack was produced as the tree fell toward Sammy, likely to crush him flat as a pancake.
'Oh, deary me. I'm not having the best lu-' Sammy's mild complaint was interrupted by the tree falling right in front of him, scraping his face terribly, leaving him with nothing more than a blue mush for a face. His eyes were destroyed, and his tongue lolloped out of the hole in his face, once his mouth.
'Argh, le flargh-ba-largh.' Rougly translated, Sammy had said Whoopsie-daisy. How will I ever make it to the doctor's now?
But Sammy was a determined unicorn, and didn't let a severed foot and the lack of a face stop him!
Limping onwards in an unknown direction, Sammy didn't realise until it was too late that he had been heading the wrong way, and was now falling into the mighty gorge just outside the Flowery Forest.
Connecting firmly with the ground, Sammy felt his back two legs crack, sending a large amount of pain through his entire body, adding to the inconveniences of his journey.
'Orgh, raghlrik.' Oh, fiddlesticks.
Fighting on, despite only one limb remaining, and no face, Sammy began to slowly climb the side of the gorge, one inch at a time, unable to stop himself from being scraped against the jagged rocks that lined the natural death-trap.
He was being torn to shreds, and a particularly nasty rock sliced past his stomach, releasing his internal organs with a spray of blue goo.
'Pargh, er nargh haerhj.' Pity, I need them.
Sammy ignored his mortality rate, and blindly scrambled onwards and upwards, eager to make it to the doctor's surgery to heal his wounds.
But suddenly ... Oh no! Sammy was brutally attacked by birds, mighty eagles that fed on unicorn flesh. Sammy was a particularily easy target, what with his lack of general unicorn features; a face, legs, internal organs, and so on.
'Hargh arghly rargh!' How awfully rude!
But always wanting to be a good entertainer and host, Sammy let the birds feast on his flesh, silently debating with himself the British government's policies, wishing that the birds could join him in some pleasant conversation.
...Several seconds later, Sammy was dead. That one blue rock upon which Sammy lost his life remains in the gorge to this day, and is an excellent tourist attraction, making upwards of £250,000 every year!
Call 555-3451 to book your tour, NOW!