It was a Thursday, when Sammy got a knock at the door.
'Who could this be?' he said to himself. Putting down the ironing, he approached the door, excited to see who it could be.
As the door creaked open, he came face to face with a dirty little boy, around eight-years-old, dressed in grey and black rags, looking awfully sad.
'Why, what's wrong, little friend?' asked Sammy, unaware of the horrible answer he was about to recieve.
'I just lost both my parents in an unfortunate electrical incident... You were there!'
Sammy thought back, but couldn't recall any such electrical incident.
'Anyway, I was hoping you'd be able to help me find a new family...'
Sammy felt his eyes well up. Such a sad sight for a young boy to be lonely this close to... Friday.
Leaping into the sky with excitement, Sammy declared, 'Yes! I will help you!'
And off they went into the forest, looking for a new home.
Their first stop was the home of Harry, the schizophrenic beaver. Sammy knocked lightly on the door, waiting for an answer. The small orphan stood behind him, waiting eagerly.
'Hello?' said Harry as he opened the door.
'Hello Harry,' said Sammy. 'I've been entrusted with this young orphan, and am looking for a new home for him. Can you help us?'
'Aw, look at him, all alone and lonely. I would be honoured to - What?! You expect me to look after some snotty little brat when I can barely take my own medicine?! - So if you'd just like to come inside,' he said to the orphan, 'then I can show you your new home.
Sammy raised an eyebrow. How foolish of him to think an orphan would be safe with a schizophrenic beaver...
'Oh, twizzlesticks. Well, let's go see who else we can find.'
The next stop was the home of Ratty, the mighty eagle. A generous and charming bird of prey, who was well-respected around the forest.
'Good day to you, Ratty,' said Sammy.
'Well, and a very good day to you, Sammy. What brings you to my humble abode on such a delightful day such as this?' Ratty said in his posh Stephen-Fry-esque voice.
'Well, I have this orphan boy, you see, and I was trying to find him a new home.'
'Well, look no further. I love children, and would be happy to take him in.'
Both Sammy and the orphan smiled widely.
'Would you like to come inside?' Ratty asked.
'Yes please sir,' said the orphan.
They went inside, and Sammy followed.
Tea was served, and crumpets followed, accompanied by fine conversation. The orphan introduced himself as Sammy, but Sammy didn't like that name very much, so decided to call him Orphan. It was then that he noticed the stag's head above the fireplace.
'What in the name of Flowers of the Forest is that?!' asked Sammy, quite taken aback.
'That is the prize for the best hunting bird of prey!' declared Ratty, quite proudly.
'Well, what if it should fall and entrap Orphan? He would be killed, surely!' Sammy was worried for Orphan's safety.
'No, no. It's quite secure to the-'
'Well, what is the meaning of this?!' asked Sammy, looking over to a dinner table in the next room.
'It's a dinner table.'
'Well, it had barely enough room for one! How will you feed Orphan?!' Sammy gasped. 'My goodness, you would starve him wouldn't you?!'
'No, no, no...' Ratty tried to explain.
'Come along, Orphan,' Sammy said, getting to his feet. 'You don't want to live in a home like this.'
They left Ratty's house, in search once more. But after visiting several houses, they had no success.
There was only one option left.
Despite Orphan's protests, but with a lot of duct tape, Sammy was able to take him to the one place he'd be safe... The local sweatshop.
Tying him to the pole outside, Sammy galloped away, proud of himself for thinking of such an ideal solution. The boy can work every day, and keep all the money for himself!
'I'll see you on Tuesday!' he cried as he sped into the distance, returning to his ironing.