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The Fox Hole

    My eyes fluttered open, and I recognized the stormy sky, the thunder filled my ears, only a short distance away. The rain drops once more coated my face slightly.
    I sat up, confusion joining the rain drops on my face. The same wooden raft, still rocked gently as it floated down the thin stream.        Sahrai, my mind had wondered. I had come so close to remembering. What was the significance of this dreamscape. I closed my eyes, willing myself to return to stone wall. They flew open once more, and still the stormy skies greeted me.     
    I sat up once more and looked towards the sun. Again it sank low in the western horizon, the same mountains began to shade it. Was this land Sahrai, is that why I had come back?   
    I slipped my feet into the cool waters once more, feeling the rocky sub surface meet them not far below. The rocks were smooth on my bare skin, soft.   
    As I moved to the close shore, I found the same rock I had spent hours pondering on, the rains came heavily now and I dragged my raft on shore and once again sat on the rock, thinking hard of Sahrai, remembering the essence. My mind no longer pondered the previous place I had been in, the rock wall or chains. Those thoughts slowly erased as though they had never been.   
    Once again the rain subsided, and I realized that hours had passed. But I no longer remembered living this moment before. All I remembered was Sahrai.   
    I wondered about continuing my journey onwards down the stream, when I noticed again that the sun was rising once more. I found this strange, as I had forgotten the events that had passed before my eyes many hours ago. And again, I wondered the significance of this event.   
    As I stepped forward, I stopped. My foot mere inches from the rock I had slipped on before. My mind had said no wait. I couldn't comprehend why, it was as though I was having deja vu. I stepped over the rock and onto the grassy shores.   
    The grass was soft and ticklish against the soles of my feet. It felt comforting and warm, even after the harsh rains. I forgot my raft and decided to venture up the grassy knoll towards a tree I had spotted in the distance.   
    Suddenly as I had begun walking a small fox skittered across my path. It stopped and stared at me, it small black eyes taking me in slowly, its tail stopped in mid stride. The fox's essence oozed of Sahrai. I could feel it.   
    Before I knew it the fox yipped at me once, twice, and then sauntered away, up the hill towards the tree. For no reason other than pure curiosity I started to run after the fox. My body allowing me to take great leaps and strides as I followed the small beast. Was this Sahrai? My mind instantly told me no. So why was I following it than?   
    I couldn't remember, so I continued to chase it, until finally it reached the tree and ran down a small fox hole. I stopped to catch my breath, but found that I was breathing normally, my chest no longer heaving. I stared at the fox hole with curiosity. Then I looked back up at the tree overtop of it.
    It was then that I realized this wasn't a tree at all. It was a large steel obelisk. It was brown and green, a mix of vague colours, as though the tree had melted down into one bar.
    Perhaps this obelisk was Sahrai, but I couldn't remember, my mind had begun to shut down, I felt tired. I lay down several feet away from the fox hole under the obelisk, its shadow loomed over me as I fell asleep.

    I awoke with a start, it was dark, night. The stars gazed down on me from the dark sky. The obelisk was still my keeper, hanging over me with an air of protection.
    I wondered what had awoken me, and then I realized, the fox had once again come out of its hole. It stood on a few feet away staring at me, its eyes shinning in the night.
    I realized that the fox, although staring pointedly at me, could not see me. The obelisk must have made this happen. So I watched on in curiosity as the fox looked away down towards the shore.
    I saw the fit of its attraction, a large moose was wading through the waters, search the rocks for aquatic plants. The fox seemed immensely interested in this moose, and it yipped, but the moose took no notice.
    As I watched the moose plod on slowly, I hardly noticed that the fox had begun to change. It yipped again, but this time it was a deeper growl, and this stirred me to look back at the small beast. Although it was no longer small, it was growing, and tearing. The fur tore apart, leading way for glossy skin, that was wet with a substance I couldn't put my finger on.
    The fox fur tore away and was left on the ground in a heap as the beast before me, convulsed and its body pulsated until it was transformed into a foul looking monster.
    It roared into the night and then running on its knuckles, sped down the hill hitting the moose full on, before ripping it in half with two powerful arms. It fed on the moose, with great gushing sounds of flesh tearing, and organs begin sloppy eaten.
    Terror filled my mind, but Sahrai still persuaded me to watch on as the moose was nearly fully consumed. Finally though I tore my eyes away, and in horror realized that the protection of my obelisk was no longer there, it had once again transformed into a tree.
    I heard a howl into the night and realized the beast could now see me and was still hungry. My eyes shot to the fox hole, which seemed to have grown in size enough to take me but not the beast.
    With no second thoughts and Sahrai in my head I broke for the fox hole and crawled down inside. Deep down, into the earth. Outside I could hear the agitated growls and sniffs of the beast as it searched for me.
    As I crawled deeper though the ground suddenly fell away and I was falling deeper into the earth, slowly though, and I could watch as roots and worms, slowly floated by as I neared the bottom. Then there was darkness once more.

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23 COMMENTS ABOUT THIS STORY RSS

protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "Haha well now I have to ruin where I was going with it....The Sahara Inn....then the letters 'T,h,e,a,n,n' burn out"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Rac7hel "hmmmmmmmmmmmm this makes me think! >X|
(that's a cool think face, isn't it)

I like what you did, I have a lot of ideas for ways to tie that in with the story. And I like how the name of the inn is dangerously similar to Sahrai. It makes it sound very ominous. Maybe I'll write again finally. . . :?
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "The punctuation might be a little rough around the edges, but I could care less. I just wanted to get the idea out, I wasn't concerned with working on it for five hours before posting it."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "Perfect, I was thinking that, with the next chapter, one could jump back to the dreamworld he's in again. Then a little later we could come back to this storyline to build a story behind whats happening."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "I have the perfect next chapter for this...Oh man I'm so smart haha!"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "Exactly what I was going for, bringing it back again and again to the beginning."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "How very astute of you Redhat. Yes it does symbolize something. I put it in to symbolize the ignorance of the character and the impending danger that surrounds him, but which he doesn't realize. He is the moose who is ignorant to the stalking creature in the dark. What seemed like a small fox at first turned out to be much more."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for redhat "I was curious about the symbolism of the moose. I get that the fox is known for being clever and sly, but then he morphs into a very un-clever crude beast that destroys the moose, but does the moose represent anything?"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for EilDard "I thought this addition might add some more mystery to an already fantastically mysterious story, and tie up a couple of perceived loose ends. I hope you like it!"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Rac7hel "I don't think you can call anything "just plain bad"... :/

I liked the line about the fox's essence; It's important to the story that the fox and Sahrai have some sort of connection, and that seemed like a creative and perfectly acceptable way to express that idea.

I see what you mean about the grammar, doc, but it's mostly run-on sentences and extra commas. Those aren't really that hard to overlook. I just hear it in my head and pause at all the pause indicators, and keep going. I know it's incorrect grammar and I would certainly edit it before publishing it, but I don't think it's nearly as bad as your comment makes it sound.
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "I don't think I'm all together sure which way is the right way to take that."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for DrPinch "Sorry to be a thorn in your side WB - I think your ideas are great, but some of this is barely in English! I lost count of the amount of times I had to say in my head "oh, he must mean this..." And, sorry again, but some of it is just plain bad: "the fox's essence oozed of Sahrai" ?! Since when did an essence "ooze" of anything?

I totally hear you on the "it's a first draft so it's all about getting the ideas out there" front, but, man, I honesty found this hard going. At least read it back once before clicking the post button! I really want to like your stuff, but you are showing a flagrant disregard for your readers, which makes it difficult...

Hope you take this the right way.
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "Fluent and assured. (sp?) both branches, really satisfying read - nice job"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Rac7hel "I really never intended to take it anywhere, so wherever you want to go is fine with me ;)"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "Good, I didn't want to ruin the idea for this story, so I stuck as close as I could to where I thought you were taking it."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Rac7hel "Awesome, I love it! It's cool... I wrote this a long time ago and since then I've sort of developed a personal meaning for the word Sahrai, although I never incorporated it into this story any more than what was in that first chapter. But your chapter works well with it."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Jillian "Favourite line: "The obelisk was still my keeper...""
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "Okay I dunno why but the paragraphing !^$!ED up halfway through and I had to go back and reparagraph everything, and then I ended up with that spaced out sentence near the top that is supposed to be a new paragraph, that for some reason I can't fix. In fact I think its happened twice up there. Just so everyone realizes why its like that."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "I really hope I did this story justice. It was what I perceived when I saw that it was listed under horror."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "Beautiful, its too bad no one will take the time to notice this. They're all too wrapped up in more 'fun' and easy to write posts. But I will shower and come back to write an addition to this. And I will pay homage to you Rach with my detail."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for DrPinch "Moody!"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Rac7hel "RIP Albert Hofmann, and thank you... ;)"

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