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Sahrai

    My mind was on Sahrai. My eyes were closed. I couldn't see anything, but I could feel the wind blowing steadily across my face. I stirred, and upon hearing thunder, opened my eyes. I found myself gazing straight up into a vivid, stormy sky. I laid there for a moment, still thinking. Then I felt the first few raindrops splatter my face and I sat up.
    I had been lying on a wooden raft which was flowing peacefully down a narrow stream lined with rocks. My mind wandered. Absently, I searched the sky and noted that the sun was very low on the western horizon, partially shielded by mountains. Ah, what a beautiful sunset it was, I thought. Now the rain fell harder and the wind blew stronger, pushing my raft farther down the stream. Without clear reason, I lowered my leg into the water until I felt the shallow, rocky ground beneath my bare foot. The water was cool and barely came up to my waist. I stepped in, allowing the raft to meander down the stream without me. I waded to shore and pulled myself up onto a rock in a small clearing.
    Hours passed while I sat on that rock, remembering Sahrai. When I realized that I was no longer being pounded by rain, I desperately shook the thoughts out of my mind in order to concentrate on the present. I gazed up once more. The storm had calmed. I considered pursuing my journey, but then I noticed something strange. Though still in the west, the sun was completely visible in the sky, and much higher than it had been hours ago. It seemed that I should remain in the clearing until things began to make sense to me. It occured to me that the whole event may have been a dream, but even in the land of dreams, it's important to understand the situation. Had the sun reversed itself? Was time moving backwards? Could this be some kind of warning? It didn't make sense at all, so I left my questions unanswered and proceeded.
    But as I was standing up, my foot slipped on the still soaked rock, and I collapsed head first into the stream. Where the rocky floor should have been there was merely a thin misty substance, which I glimpsed for a millisecond and then plummeted right through. Down and down through the water I sank, as if some force stronger than nature were at the bottom, pulling me under. But where was the bottom? I could not see it. I could see only dark blue hazy water, with an occasional leaf or stick floating aimlessly about. I was somewhat frightened, but more curious than anything else. The blue darkened as I sank lower, and I began to see tiny specs of light in the water, like stars. In an instant, there was a flash of crimson light and something very hard against my face. I blinked.


    All of my surroundings had completely vanished. I couldn't move. I now found myself turning my head sideways, so as not to have my face jammed against a stone wall; the same wall to which my spread-eagle feet and hands were chained. The scene dimly flickered in and out of my vision, as if a torch were burning behind me. Suddenly I became aware of a stinging pain on the back of my neck. My hands longed to massage it and ease the aching, but they couldn't move. The chains were binding them too tightly. But I didn't have time to think about pain. My mind was focused on Sahrai.
    There, chained against a clammy wall in that horrible, desolate chamber... I watched time play its games. I saw my life replaying backwards, as if every bit of it was presently draining out of my body. Back, back, into my past, losing memories, feelings, experiences. And all the while I clung to Sahrai...

    But what was Sahrai? Was it a place? A person? A friend of mine or a loved one? Or was it someone I loathed? If it was a place, did I wish to go there, or to escape from there? Could Sahrai be only a feeling, or something abstract? Was it the essence of good or of evil? There, chained against that rigid stone wall I lost my sanity.

    What little light I had imagined to be shining was eventually consumed by the most visible darkness I have ever known. Nothing existed anymore except the voice inside my head, echoing the word "Sahrai" as if it were the answer to the only question I would ever need to ask. But what did it mean? I couldn't remember what. But slowly, vaguely... I remembered why.

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17 COMMENTS ABOUT THIS STORY RSS

protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "How very astute of you Redhat. Yes it does symbolize something. I put it in to symbolize the ignorance of the character and the impending danger that surrounds him, but which he doesn't realize. He is the moose who is ignorant to the stalking creature in the dark. What seemed like a small fox at first turned out to be much more."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for EilDard "I thought this addition might add some more mystery to an already fantastically mysterious story, and tie up a couple of perceived loose ends. I hope you like it!"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Rac7hel "I don't think you can call anything "just plain bad"... :/

I liked the line about the fox's essence; It's important to the story that the fox and Sahrai have some sort of connection, and that seemed like a creative and perfectly acceptable way to express that idea.

I see what you mean about the grammar, doc, but it's mostly run-on sentences and extra commas. Those aren't really that hard to overlook. I just hear it in my head and pause at all the pause indicators, and keep going. I know it's incorrect grammar and I would certainly edit it before publishing it, but I don't think it's nearly as bad as your comment makes it sound.
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "I don't think I'm all together sure which way is the right way to take that."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "Fluent and assured. (sp?) both branches, really satisfying read - nice job"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Rac7hel "I really never intended to take it anywhere, so wherever you want to go is fine with me ;)"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "Good, I didn't want to ruin the idea for this story, so I stuck as close as I could to where I thought you were taking it."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "Okay I dunno why but the paragraphing #%&&ED up halfway through and I had to go back and reparagraph everything, and then I ended up with that spaced out sentence near the top that is supposed to be a new paragraph, that for some reason I can't fix. In fact I think its happened twice up there. Just so everyone realizes why its like that."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "I really hope I did this story justice. It was what I perceived when I saw that it was listed under horror."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Writers_Block "Beautiful, its too bad no one will take the time to notice this. They're all too wrapped up in more 'fun' and easy to write posts. But I will shower and come back to write an addition to this. And I will pay homage to you Rach with my detail."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for DrPinch "Moody!"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for Rac7hel "RIP Albert Hofmann, and thank you... ;)"

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