S*** We Say (At 1:30 A.M.)Mature

My friend, Ari, actually typed this on my computer while he was holding it hostage from me. There were two other people in the room besides us, so he typed as much of our conversations as he was able to without credit to the speakers or quotation marks. YAYY.


Rose does not know what she has to write about.  I am woman, hear me roar. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Don’t fuck with soccer moms: they are crazy bitches who will FUCK YOU UP!!! Anti-privacy. I think target is open now. Do you want the milk put back in the refrigerator? Laura just drank chocolate syrup. It’s like in the movies! Somebody’s dad does that…Now it’s contaminated. Sorry I was reading what Ari wrote down, which is everything we’re saying. Of course, I was stuck with the perverted version. Wait, let me see! I don’tknow who the FUCK this is. I know her…It’s so purposeful. Yes you want a free iphone! Middle. She has weird hair. She has Jewish hair. I can’t fuckin’ type! Oh my gosh, she does look like a horse. I don’t know but I’m fucked. You just missed the party! What what what what did you say? I don’t know let’s talk to her. I really need to do work. No seriously. 15 guys, a tree, and Whalt Whitman. Charlie Chan! You see how I didn’t put TJ in with the creepers. Justin has a man crush. We had a study group. Im going to get up early tomorrow. He looks so happy. He’s so nice, oh my god. Now him on the other hand. What? She’s pretty. This song makes me wanna dance, Idont know why. Tooooooonyyyyyyyyyyyy. Can I have the computer please? I have to pee. Good story, you should tell it at parties. Are you almost done? Everybody be silent. Her last name is Congress. I hate Congress, she has issues. That’s his sister? Say ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Why would you want to put that on facebook? Can you be done now?

The End

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