Makin' TroubleMature

From: Nathan White (

To: Eric Carter (

Subject: Troublemakers

Cc: (Optional)

Los Angeles, California

          At around dawn, I was rudely awakened by Ryan and the smell of smoke. “Nate! Wake up you lazy fuck!”

I rubbed my eyes and got my ass off the couch. “What’s happening, what the fuck is burning?” I asked. Ryan told me to hurry up, grabbed a bucket of water and ran downstairs. I slowly followed him, just to see him throwing the water on my fucking burning Vespa, a few blocks away! “What the fuck?!!” I shouted and ran to my place to get another bucket. My damn moped was on fire! I called the fire department and they sure as hell took their time to come.   

          The fire eventually went out, but the moped was way beyond repair after that. “MOTHERFUCKERS!” I yelled. Ryan quickly came to me and tried to calm me down, but he was too pissed to be calm himself. “The fucking scooter, bro; can you fucking believe it?” he shouted. “No, Ryan, I can’t! Just don’t talk to me for a while, okay?” I said. And with that, Ryan shrugged and went to get himself cleaned up. I couldn’t fucking believe it. My father’s gift for my 21st birthday was ashes! I tried to calm down and forget about it, but it took a few minutes.

 I slowly went to my apartment to change, but something caught my eye. There was a graffiti on one of the apartments that I hadn’t seen before. I went closer to examine it and it read “YOUR TURN TO BURN” and below that, the Rattlesnakes logo; a viper whirled around a chopper wheel. Mother. Fucking. Rattlesnakes.

          Back at my place, I poured Ryan a beer and we sat on the balcony, watching the sunrise. There was no sleep for any of us after that. “I’m sorry about the moped Nate” he said.

“Yeah me too. Thanks for the help man” I replied.

Ryan burped. “Nice” I commented. “It was the Rattlesnakes man” I grunted. “What? Are you sure?” he asked. “…But then on the other hand, who else could it be? It had to be them” he finished.

“They left a graffiti tag saying ‘your turn to burn’. Bunch of ballsacks” I mocked them. Ryan sighed.

“You and your fucking threats, bro” he said.

“Fuck you man, I was angry alright? And I still am. And I’m gonna do worse” I announced.

“Why can’t you just leave it be, man?”

“Leave it be? They got the cops on us and now they’re destroying our property, you soft motherfucker! They won’t leave it at that.”

“What do you mean?”

“They see us as threats, Ry. They’re gonna try to put us down. Or put me down, you understand? I’m gonna make noise and make it fucking count. You in?”

“Fuck yeah I’m in, we’re in this together bro, I’m not leaving my cousin in such a case” he got up and declared.

“Awesome. I’m warning you though it’s a fucking jungle out there. I can’t drag you down with me, okay? I promised dad and Katy I’d take care of you. You know Katy man, she loves you. And I’m her big bro after all. And yours”

“No man. I love my little cousin too, but you, you ain’t going nowhere without me.”

I laughed. “Alright then kiddo” I said. “I’m meeting Austin today at around 8AM, wanna come?”

          Later that morning, we set off to find Austin just outside the city; me in my beloved car and Ryan on his roadster motorbike. We brought guns and ‘pain’. I brought my favorite baseball bat and Ryan took his brass knuckles with him. Finally, my birthday gifts to Ryan came in handy. Dilly was expecting us there in his car. “Howdy!” he jokingly said. I nodded. “They burned my moped” I said. “What?” Austin frowned.

“They burned my goddamn fucking moped!”

“The Rattles?”


“Ain’t no surprise” Austin said, calmly.

I flipped.

“Ain’t no fucking surprise? Huh? You’re telling me it ain’t no mother fucking surprise? What, should I had expected all this crap?”

“Nate, calm dow-” Ryan went to say.

“So I have the cops on me, I wanna see who those motherfuckers that got us into this are, then I’m being chased by both of them and my moped is now just a pile of old burned fucking metal and somehow, this ain’t no surprise?!” I raged.

“Calm the fuck down there, old friend! We’re on the same side here” Austin replied. “I’m just sayin’ there were chances of them trying to get back at ya!”

          Ryan gave me a friendly punch on the shoulder. “Yeah, yeah I’m sorry. It’s just… fuck man. My first bike is gone because of some dudes that got us into all this cluster fuck” I calmed down. “Look, I don’t care what you say Dill, we’re gonna make some noise right here, right fucking now. And if y’all aren’t with me, I’m going alone” I announced and swung the bat in circles. Austin then laughed and opened his trunk. “What do you think we’re doin’ bitch?” he said and pulled out a bat and some pistol magazines. “These guys have a fair amount of hideouts spread around L.A.” he explained. “Let’s start off with the Santa Monica hideout.”

I nodded and turned to Ryan. “Alright man, we’re bringing the place down” I said. “Things go south, you use your shitty aim okay?”

Ryan smiled. “Fuck you man, I got this more than your stupid ass will ever do” he laughed and loaded his glock. Fuck yeah! I ran to Ryan’s bike. “Alright ladies, full on rock n roll, let’s fucking do this!” I shouted and we all drove insanely fast to downtown Santa Monica, baby! We drove side by side with Dill to talk as we drive. “So we’re doin’ this thing?!” Ryan asked. Austin turned to him and smiled, showing a small scar under his jaw. “Hell yeah, kid!” he said. “Those motherfuckers have been fuckin’ with my shit for far too long!” he continued. “First, I fix their bikes and then they take me for a cheap slut and now they messin’ with my partner?! We gotta show ‘em who’s boss!” I laughed. “Let’s do this, partner! Rolling just like we used to” I said. “Let’s discuss the attack there!” I said. “Last one there is a pussy!” Austin shouted and stepped on the gas to get there. Woo!

Entering the city, we followed Austin’s car to our destination, the Santa Monica hideout. Turns out it was just about 6 blocks away from Ryan’s place. It was a medium-sized punk metal bar on ground level. We stopped a bit further to plan the vandal attack. “Alright, boys” Austin started as he got out of the car. “I suggest we break all their shit, plain and simple. Anyone tries to stop us, we knock ‘em down” Austin suggested. “Plain and simple thinking, I like it” I agreed. “Oh, Ryan, where is your second bandanna? You gotta give one to Austin here, he already has some beef with these assholes” I said. If they saw that it was him, they’d surely be out to get him.

“Good idea, big boy. Here, take mine for now. I’m gonna get Dill my other one, I can use my cap as a face cover” Ryan agreed and went to get the second bandanna.

“Oh, so we’re all covering our faces, huh?” I asked. “I like it.” I finished and put on the red one.

“He called me Dill!” Austin jokingly pretended to cry from happiness. Hell, we were back makin’ trouble, man. Bigger trouble this time.

          After Ryan brought the other one for Austin, I knocked on the car’s hood with the baseball bat and called for the guys. “C’mon bitches, let’s bring it on.”

Austin and Ryan locked and loaded and brought the “pain” out. And with that, I started bringing windows down, while the guys waited for the time to get in and cause the aforementioned pain. Oh, man… the fucking relief… It felt like receiving a massage with a happy ending after a very tiring day. The glass, as well as the wooden supports for the windows gave in to the metal baseball bat and the front door was mangled by the heavy kicks from the guys. Cheap structure for cheap whores. The outside had been damaged enough and I could see the members from inside screaming bloody murder. They sure as hell were ready for us, and we sure as hell were ready for them too. It was now time to cause mayhem on the inside.





-Nathan White

The End

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