From: Ryan Surdley (firstname.lastname@example.org)
To: Eric Carter (email@example.com)
Subject: More shit
Santa Monica, California
Almost completely out of hiding, Nateboy took me for a ride on his black Vespa. It was a gift from my uncle who died 3 years ago.
We were downtown now, looking for a spot to park, to do some window shopping, you know? Suddenly Nate pulled over on a sidewalk and waited there. “Bro, what are you doing?” I asked him, obviously confused. He didn’t answer and continued staring elsewhere. “Yo! Nate!” He then turned to me and said in a low voice: “See those two choppers parked over there?” he asked. “Um, yeah?”
“Don’t they look familiar to you?”
Fuuuuuck, he was right! The criminals! “Shit, you’re right man! What are we gonna do now?”
“Alright, see those dreadlocked motherfuckers there?” he pointed. I nodded ‘yes’. “That one of ‘em?” he asked. I took a closer look and remembered the moment I saw him getting out. It had to be him dude!>.< “Shit, I don’t know man, I think so!” I said.
“Let’s swing by and say hello” he declared and got off his bike. I hesitated a bit. Nate was looking at me, walking backwards. “You comin’ or what?”
I looked at him for a couple of seconds, but I eventually got off the bike too.
“Fuck it man I’m comin’, wait up!”
I ran to catch up with Nate. Dude I’m tellin’ ya, he was PISSED. “Yo wait up cuz!”
When we reached them, Nathan greeted them. “Heeey, what’s up guys?”
There were two guys, dressed in black tank tops and black jeans, having some Bud. Chopper enthusiasts, it seemed. One of them had dreadlocks and the other one had long wavy hair and a beard, some shit straight out of Sons of Anarchy, you know?
“Hey” the dreadlocked guy said, while the bearded dude just nodded. Nateboy continued the show! “I see you doing well for yourselves, boys!” he said. He started walking slowly in front of them and teased them with edgy hand gestures. “Romantic bike ride, some beer with your friend, or boyfriend HA-HAAAA” he clapped. The guys were getting impatient. “I like your style, brothers” he continued. “Riding your motorcycles, having drinks…” his tone got more serious. “Robbing stores and murdering owners” he added.
The dreadlocked dude came up to Nate. “Get lost” he said. “Oh-ho why, my friend? Did I do something to you?” his tone got sarcastic again. “Did I put the cops on your ass?”
I laughed. The other guy came up to me. “What are you laughing at?” he asked. His breath polluted the air, you know? “Jesus, you stink” I confessed and took a few steps backwards. Meanwhile, my dude Nathan punched the guy in the face and received a fist in his gut. The bearded guy that threatened me saw the fight and pulled out his sweet-ass cell phone. “Mitch, bring the boys” he said and jumped towards Nate. Not knowing what to do, I put on my helmet again and tried to headbutt the bearded dude, probably looking like a retard.
Then I heard engines roaring, huge motorcycle engines showing their power! Oh man that was sweet! But then I saw that there was a flock of biker dudes coming towards us. That wasn’t sweet. Nathan punched the fat bearded guy that was holding him, grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and pulled me towards the bike. “Let’s fucking go!” he shouted. “Okay, okay!” I said and ran to the black Vespa, while dudes with choppers and fucking GUNS approached us. Nateboy got on and screamed a bunch of threats to these assholes. “I’m gonna burn you all to tiny bits!” He started the bike and quickly made a 180 turn. Now chopper freaks were on our ass! “Nate what the fuck did you do? You got a fuckin’ GANG on our asses!” I shouted. “What the fuck was I supposed to do, how should I know?!” he shouted back.
“Maybe take it easier, you psycho!”
“Shut up, Ryan!”
“No I won’t shut up you crazy fucker, look what you got us into!”
“It wasn’t my fault!”
“Then whose fault was it?!”
“Oh, now you’re just being a pussy!”
The Vespa of course couldn’t accelerate as fast as the choppers. Nate tried to gain more speed, but the biker dudes got very close. “Ryan, watch out!” Nate said. I turned to see what was going on and I ducked immediately to avoid a fucking baseball bat! “Ryan, are you okay?!” Nate asked. “Yeah, as ‘okay’ as can be!” I said. “Good! Hold on kiddo, we’re taking the scenic route!” Nate notified. “What does that even mean?!” I asked. Nathan swerved to the right and went through an alley, making it difficult for the choppers to keep up. I looked behind and saw that the bikers had stopped, only to hear gunshots a few seconds later! “Nate! Faster dude, they’re fucking SHOOTING at us!” I said. “I know, I know! Just hang tight baby bro, I’m getting us out!”
Oh man I couldn’t believe they were shooting at us! I was so scared that moment, I couldn’t move! The moped was going too fast inside this big alley.
Eventually Nateboy took a sharp right and we were clear from gunfire. “Whew! Dude I almost shit my pants!” I confessed. “I know right?!” he replied. “Come on man, let’s go home” he continued. “Ohhh, ffffuck.”
“What?!” I asked.
“Don’t freak out, they’re still further behind us!” he said and tried to reach top speed with the moped. “How the fuck am I supposed to not freak out?!”
“I don’t know, just think of cute puppies!”
I’m not gonna lie, I tried to, but I couldn’t relax when there was a fucking gang after us!
We looked up front and we found our safe haven. Traffic! The moped was very resilient and we could easily avoid cars, while choppers were too heavy to even turn properly at high speeds. I never thought traffic could do you any good, but hey! It did! I turned back and flicked off the bikers while they stared hopelessly. “Sit on it bitches!”
Back home, Nathan took a very cheerful expression and jumped on the couch. “Bingo!” he said. “Bingo? We almost got killed, big boy” I replied.
“We fuckin’ found them, Ry! Alright, it might not have been those two dudes, but that’s definitely them. At least gimme that” he said.
“How are you so sure, Mr. White?”
“Whelp, they lost their patience quickly, and found the situation so unnerving that they called a bunch of them clowns.”
I’m not gonna lie, he actually had a point.
We did some research on biker gangs, in California. After about an hour of searching we found the name of those fuckers. “Rattlesnakes”. How generic! They were just a bunch of Texan and New Yorker bikers all gathered up in California, for some reason. Nathan then stood up and did that cool face he does when he has a good idea. “We got this, baby bro” he said. “I gotta make a phonecall.”
I just sat back and relaxed. “Yo Austin!” he said. “Heeeey man what’s up?! Long time, no-fucking-see! Yo listen, we got a problem down here, wanna swing by for a beer? We’ll catch up and talk about it. Yeah sure, man. Alright I’ll be there. See you soon.” Then he turned to me and gave me a beer. “We got this bro.”
Ryan Surdley – RS