I woke up, slightly dazed. I was outside with Timothy. I had the odd sensation I could trust him. Also I found myself thinking it wouldn't be a good idea to return to the shop. I couldn't understand the memories I had from being in the shop, so I pushed them away.
Timothy was putting the sapphire back in his pocket. I found I wasn't curious. He had probably been examining something he had bought from the shop.
"What a weird shop," he said. He looked grim.
I nodded, finding I agreed. "That's the second time you've helped me out, Timothy," I found myself saying. I quickly clamped my mouth shut.
Timothy frowned. "How d'you know my name?"
I shrugged. "You told me. Last night."
"No, I told you I was no one special. Did Lily tell you?" He looked angry.
"No, no," I said quickly, shaking my head.
"Then how do you know?" He sounded menacing.
"Oh, I don't know! A friend told me."
"Your friends don't know me."
"How do you know? And they wouldn't have to know you personally if they knew your name."
Timothy looked annoyed, as if he'd been on the verge of catching me out. Sounding reluctant he said, "I guess."
"You're weird," I said. "I'm off home."
Timothy nodded. He suddenly looked very tired. "That's a very good plan. And don't come back here."
"As if you care about what happens to me," I muttered under my breath as I walked away.
"What was that?" His tone was threatening.
I turned. "Why should you care anyway? You're just a random guy."
He nodded, looking satisfied. There seemed to be some sort of strain in his face, though, but he was hiding it too well. "Yeah. Keep away from me."
"Gr. Make up your mind."
As I turned again, he sagged to his knees. My caring side took over. I ran back to him. "Are you okay?"
He nodded. "Just tired. It was that shop. Now, go!"
"Fine," I snarled, my caring side disappearing fast. I strode away before realising I didn't know where I was. Luckily, I came across someone who directed me to the bus station from where I could take a taxi or a bus to the train station.
When I got home, I felt tired and empty. Part of me was telling me I should have been nice to Timothy, made the most of any time we'd spent together, but it was really difficult to be friendly around him. I wondered what would have happened if I'd gone into town with him. I'd assumed in the shop that he'd have just left me with some directions to a bus station so I could get home okay. Would he have, though? What if he'd stayed? Oh, gosh, what if we'd have gotten somewhere? I growled at myself to shut up. Regret could really cut you up. But I fell asleep and daydreamed about what could have happened.
Consequently, I woke up with tears in my eyes. Oh, how I wanted to be with him right now! I didn't care that he probably hated me - I just wanted to see him. Lily had been right. The pain was unbearable. I wondered if Timothy even felt pain. If I was his rose-dove, he should be hurting too. It was impossible to tell what went on in Timothy's mind, especially since I wasn't even supposed to know him, let alone let our thoughts connect.
I got up off my bed and absent-mindedly wandered over to my window. I glanced out the window. There was a cat out there. A long-haired cat with fur that was a brown I'd never seen a cat have before. It seemed slightly restless. It was doing what could only be described as ... pacing. I felt a strange impulse to go downstairs and see it up close. Seeing as I had nothing better to do, I wandered out to take a closer look.
Outside, I stood facing it. It had stopped pacing now and was gazing at me with green eyes which were impossibly familiar. I crouched down and held out a hand to let it sniff me if it wanted. The cat suddenly ran towards me. I was scared but I couldn't move. The cat stopped inches away from me. Slowly, it stepped forward and licked my hand. Then, it turned and ran away. I suddenly knew that that cat hadn't really been a cat. That it had been Timothy. And Timothy still didn't accept the fact we were meant to be. I sighed heavily and remained on the ground for a while. When I stood up, I realised my eyes were wet. I wandered aimlessly back to my house, feeling lost and numb, detached from the world and the misery it was causing me.
I lay on my bed and sighed a lot. I wished Timothy would appear. But what reason did he have to do such a thing? It was evident he wouldn't allow himself to love me and he still thought I didn't know him.
‘Oh, Timothy,' I thought. ‘If only you saw how much I love you and how good that could be for you...'
The next six days went slowly. Each day I thought I couldn't get sadder and each day, I did. I felt certain Timothy wasn't going to do anything and I was depressed because I thought he didn't think I was good enough for him. But that was silly in a sense because it was clear Timothy loved no one. Why should I be an exception? I was just Tirana Flor, a human. No special abilities, no real charm. I'd even lost the main characteristic of my personality. I wasn't really sure of myself anymore. Time stretched on, and I got left behind.
Thursday 4th August
What a weekend preceded today...
Today was a day of mixed emotions. Initially, sadness and anger reigned in my heart, but these were replaced by contentment and a feeling of peace. The future looks so much brighter than it did before.
It was a week after I'd met Timothy when Leanne rang. Over the phone, she sounded worried.
"Rani, are you okay? I haven't seen you in so long..."
"I'm fine," I said, not even trying to hide my misery.
"You don't sound it. Alex and I will..."
"Alex and you will do nothing," I interrupted. "You two have a grand old time doing whatever you like but don't let me get you down."
Leanne sounded shocked. "Rani, we would never leave you on your own like that..."
"Please, Leanne. I just need some time on my own. Who knows? I might even get over this."
"Oh, Rani, I feel so bad. You have no idea."
"Leanne, just let me deal with it on my own."
"Goodbye Leanne." I hung up. I didn't answer when she rang again.
The following day I felt I had to do something - anything - to stop myself from going insane. I decided to take a stroll in the park.
I walked under the bright summer sun, feeling its warmth but not feeling all the positive emotions that naturally come from it. I stopped at the edge of the river and gazed across the water, sighing as I thought about Timothy. I heard footsteps behind me. I turned. It was Timothy.
Under the sun, he looked more attractive, and this was devastating. His dark hair looked a warmer brown and I could see for the first time that he had an amazing tan. He frowned when he saw me.
"Hi. I keep seeing you."
"You do," I murmured.
"Are you okay? You look sad."
"No, I'm not okay. But it doesn't matter."
"It does. What's wrong?"
I could feel the distance he was keeping between us, both physically and in the way his sentences were short and emotionless. I was quite annoyed and didn't care about what I should and shouldn't do now.
"Timothy, I never forgot."
His brow furrowed. "What d'you mean?"
"Exactly what I said," I said, getting impatient. "I know I'm your rose-dove and I know you're a witch."
Timothy looked angry. "Did Lily tell you?"
"No! Stop blaming other people."
"Why do you remember, then?"
"Because I never took a forget potion."
"Then, I'm right to blame Lily because that means she lied to me!"
"Oh, stop it! I know you hate me, but there's no reason to get so mad."
"You think I hate you?"
I nodded. "In fact, I know you hate me. You asked what was wrong. Well, I'm in love with you and you hate me - that's what's wrong."
"And it wouldn't be that way if Lily had given you a forget potion."
"Oh, shut up about the forget potion! Don't you think I'd have still fallen in love with you afterwards? Or is it too much of a change in your life to accept that love exists?"
"I don't love anyone. Love might exist but I'll never feel it."
My heart felt like it was breaking. Why did I have to fall in love with him? I didn't really know what I was doing but I was suddenly walking closer to the river.
"Get away from there!" Timothy shouted.
"What do you care?" I muttered, before I jumped in.
Ice. It was like jumping into ice. I distantly heard someone screaming and I realised it was me. I was too cold to move, but I had to keep struggling. Why had I jumped? Stupid idiot. But then I looked across at the bank, saw Timothy and wondered if it was worth fighting at all.
"Don't be stupid. Of course it's worth fighting!" He looked... scared. He ran to the life ring, grabbed it and threw it out to me.
"Tirana, take it!"
It was close enough for me to reach it, but did I want to reach it? Did I want to endure more of that pain?
"Tirana! Stop being stupid! Grab the ring!" There was an edge of panic to his voice.
‘Why?' I thought. ‘Why should I?'
"Tirana!! Grab it!!"
I did nothing.
There was a note of desperation in his voice. "Please!!"
He hesitated. "I love you!" Time came to a standstill. The world stopped turning.